It’s a peculiar thing to witness: The subject of sex toys can make even the most liberal-minded clam up in a conversation.
But why? It could be that sex education is largely lacking and rarely, if ever, inclusive of how sex toys can lend to healthy and positive experiences.
It could be that most people still don’t know how to use them.
Or it could be that the world of sex toys is so vast that you may find yourself too intimidated to explore it. If it’s the latter, don’t worry — you’re definitely not alone. The key to embracing sex toys is finding one that works for you. Just like shoes and clothes, sex toys aren’t (and shouldn’t be) a “one-size-fits-all.” Your perfect sex toy is out there.
To help you find it, we rounded up seven of our favorites curated for your unique personality.
1. For the eco-warrior: The Dolly Bi
A rightful concern for the environment-minded is how eco-friendly sex toys are. If you’re worried about draining and tossing batteries into landfills, the Dolly Bi is the perfect toy for eco-warriors. Not only does it look like a dolphin, but it also charges using a magnetic USB. That means no more changing batteries — or trying to find a friend that can do that for you.
And obviously, that’s not the only awesome factor about this toy. The Dolly Bi is made of silicone, is waterproof, and has accessible controls. This means it’s easy to start, stop, or change vibration patterns mid-use. It’s also incredibly easy to lock, meaning you don’t need to worry about vibrating while you travel!
Plus, the pleasure level is oh-so-good. The design of this vibrator makes it perfect for dual vaginal and clitoral stimulation, just like classic rabbit vibrators.
2. For the art collector: The Crave Vesper
If you’re known for your one-of-a-kind style and unique statement jewelry pieces, adore the Crave Vesper. And if Jane Fonda loves it enough to wear it on “The Ellen DeGeneres Show,” you know there’s something special about this toy.
The pendant is lightweight but packs a serious punch, both in design and vibration. It’s a very quiet vibrator, especially on the lowest setting. And because it’s stainless steel, it’s easy to clean. The Vesper has four speeds and charges via USB. It’s splash-proof, but not waterproof, so don’t submerse it. It’s important to note that the Crave Vesper is only meant for vulvar or clitoral stimulation, not for vaginal use.
3. For the chronic illness fighter: The Doxy Extra Powerful Massage Wand Vibrator
This massage wand is arguably one of the most popular sex toys out there, especially for women with chronic illnesses: It can be a lifesaver for both sex and massage. As someone who lives with chronic fatigue among other chronic illnesses, I get horrible knots in my neck and back that are difficult to get out. Sometimes it takes several massages and acupuncturist visits to make any progress on said knots.
One of the things I’ve loved about being a sexuality educator is learning to use sex toys that vibrate to help with these rough areas. Products like Doxy’s wands can be great for sex, but they can also help eliminate some of the stiffness and pain that puts a damper in my day-to-day life with illness.
It’s worth noting that the Doxy Extra Powerful Massage Wand is corded, requiring you to plug it in. But I love the easy-to-use controls and pulsating function. And even better, you can purchase various attachments for the head of this wand to really customize your experience how you like it.
4. For the tech geek: The Vibease Esthesia
Are you always on the forefront of the latest tech? If you’re all about having the latest and greatest tech gadgets to make your life easier (and more fun), you’ll love the Esthesia. Like the Dolly Bi, the Esthesia is a super quiet rabbit vibrator made of silicone. It’s waterproof and recharges via USB.
But what really makes this toy special is its synchronization with your existing tech. You can sync up the vibrations with your audiobooks or allow your partner to text you vibration patterns from anywhere around the world! The Vibease app allows you to create custom vibrations, too. There’s always something new and fun to discover with this sex toy.
5. For the fitness lover: Perifit
Did you know that one-third of women have some form of pelvic floor disorder? You might have heard about ways you can strengthen your pelvic floor muscles at home. But these can’t be nearly as fun as using a fun little toy to help.
The Perifit is a great way to game-ify how we exercise our vaginas and pelvic floor muscles (and enjoy doing it!). You play games using an app where you control virtual butterflies with the muscles in your vagina. Algorithms help track your progress while virtual coaches encourage you to do your best.
Currently, you can only get the Perifit through pre-order. It’s waterproof, made of silicone, and connects to your phone via Bluetooth.
6. For the coy beginner: Laid’s D.1 Silicone Dildo
The mention of a sex toy may bring to mind something gaudy or vulgar. Understandably, this can be a major turn off if you’re a beginner. The D.1 Silicone Dildo, though, is one that any woman would be happy to start her collection with.
The D.1 is a gorgeous dildo with beautiful lines. With one rounded end and another more angular trip, most everyone is sure to find something to like about this toy. It’s also easy to grip, which isn’t always the truth with other dildos. The incredibly soft, almost velvety texture is something that’s hard to find in many toys, too.
And since the D.1 doesn’t look like a stereotypical dildo, it’s a great one for any woman to hide away in her sock drawer — or display proudly!
7. For the bold and adventurous: b-Vibe Trio Plug Waterproof Remote Control Vibrating Anal Toy
Anal play isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. But if you’re into it, it can be super fun! Most toys can be used anally if they have a flared base. If they don’t, toys can get lost, necessitating an embarrassing trip to the hospital.
The b-Vibe Trio Plug is a great starter for anyone getting into anal play. If you’re already experienced in this area, the vibration factor makes it fun for you as well.
An accompanying remote control makes it easy to change vibrations on your own, something that not all vibrating plugs offer. That makes the b-Vibe even more accessible!
A note about anal play: Lube is necessary! Make sure to use a thicker water-based lubricant like Sliquid’s Sassy. Apply liberally!
As you can see, there are all kinds of sex toys to match our personalities, interests, and abilities. The most important thing to remember when you’re looking at toys is to find one that uses body-safe materials and to always buy from reputable shops like those listed above.
And, of course, have fun! Sex should be fun and make you feel confident and empowered. It’s your body, so enjoy it and own it. What kind of sex toy is your personality yearning for?
Kirsten Schultz is a writer from Wisconsin who challenges sexual and gender norms. Through her work as a chronic illness and disability activist, she has a reputation for tearing down barriers while mindfully causing constructive trouble. Kirsten recently founded Chronic Sex, which openly discusses how illness and disability affect our relationships with ourselves and others, including — you guessed it — sex! You can learn more about Kirsten and Chronic Sex at chronicsex.org and follow her on Twitter @ChronicSex.