Pregnancy isn’t always sitting on a lotus leaf, being worshiped for the life-giving goddess you are. In fact, there are parts of pregnancy that are as revealing as an uncensored reality TV special. Rather than keeping it behind the scenes, we’ve collected 19 things that only a pregnant woman would truly appreciate.
1. Having all pregnancy photos compared to Beyoncé’s.
2. Being simultaneously starving and disgusted by food.
3. Feeling like you’re prepping snacks for an army of toddlers … but it’s all just for you.
4. Having a doctor care this much about your weight, which hasn’t happened since … puberty?
5. When your husband starts asking about the “Boob Fairy.”
6. Choosing baby names, also known as a flashback to every person you’ve ever disliked.
7. Walking uphill feels like you’re wearing a reverse backpack.
8. Redefining morning as sickness.
9. Getting a foot massage that suddenly feels X-rated.
10. Having people remark only when you are drinking … when they used to comment only when you weren’t.
11. Road trips are a no-go — unless you plan for 24/7 pee breaks.
12. What it feels like to watch “Steel Magnolias.” (Cue ugly pregnancy crying.)
13. Your fantasies now consist of Staples shopping trips for the future scrapbooking of your baby’s pictures, drawings, report cards …
14. Embracing the tunic trend, because ain’t nobody got time for zipped jeans. In fact, throw away any pants that aren’t leggings.
15. Nothing will ever feel as good as that one crazy sleep position you discovered.
16. Bumping people who get in your way never felt so good before.
17. Feeling like a sponge: Squeeze me and I’ll start leaking.
18. The tremendous anxiety of bringing a new life into the world and being wholly responsible for it.
19. The overwhelming love you’ll feel after bringing a new life into the world.
Whether you’re ready for your next adventure or still looking for tips on making this one the best it can be, we’ve got your back! Click here for all the pregnancy content you need, from week one to after delivery. Or read the second list of 29 things only a pregnant woman would understand (because we could go on forever).
Lindsey Dodge Gudritz is a writer and mom. She lives with her on-the-move family in Philadelphia (for now). She has been published in The Huffington Post, the Detroit News, Sex and the State, and the Independent Women’s Forum blog. Her family blog can be found at www.puttingonthegudritz.com.