If there's one thing my children know about me, it's that I'm a bit of a mushy mother. You know the type, right? We're the ones trying to keep it together at all of those graduation ceremonies. (Seriously, preschool and kindergarten? I'm done for already!) We’re holding back tears behind the 10 million pictures we’re taking on our phones.
While I will not apologize for the tears I’ve shed as a proud mushy mother, I must admit: Not everything I have cried about as a mom has been exactly worthy of tears.
Below, I present some of the more ridiculous things I have cried about as a parent.
1. A stomach virus
Looking back, I can laugh about this. But at the time, as a new mother staying home with a newborn and 2-year-old who both got hit with a stomach virus at once, you can believe that I shed more than a few tears. Over poop. A lot of poop.
I'll never forget hearing the fateful cry of my 2-year-old waking up from her nap and walking up the stairs holding my 2-week-old to find a trail of poop that extended from her bed, across the hall, and into the bathroom. I had to scrub everything, including somehow her eyebrows. But before I dug into cleaning, I did the completely grownup thing and first sat down at the top of the stairs to cry my little postpartum heart out.
2. A dropped donut
Listen, I'm not proud of it, but I'll admit: I have actually shed tears over the loss of precious food. As a mom, you don't get to keep a lot of food to yourself. And on those rare occasions when I have something delicious all for me (not to be shared with or slobbered on by little hands), it's a cause for celebration. Unless a small child steals my donut and then drops it in the dirt. Yes, I’m going to cry about it.
3. Sisterly love
My two oldest girls are only two years apart, and because they are so close, they fight — a lot. But mixed in with the fighting is the sweetest bond that I know will never break. Like the time my oldest started school and happily skipped into her classroom after saying goodbye to me. Just as we turned to leave, she suddenly came running back out to hug her baby sister tenderly and tell her that she loved her. It was the sweetest moment and turned my mama heart into mush.
4. The fact that nothing fits
After giving birth, I pretty much avoid even trying on "real" clothes for as long as humanly possible. I don't "bounce back," and even if I did bounce back, my pre-baby body wasn't exactly runway ready, you feel me?
The point is, I have lost many, many minutes of my life sobbing in a closet just hoping that the postpartum fairy godmother would appear to wave her wand over all of my nonmaternity clothes that didn't even come close to fitting me.
Side note: I’m still waiting on this. If anyone sees her, please send her my way.
5. My daughter crying
Just last week, I started crying because I found my daughter crying over a picture of her crying about me crying in her baby book. And yes, I fully realize how ridiculous that is. But such is parenting life, folks.
6. Diaper commercials
Show me a parent who at least hasn't gotten the teensiest bit teary-eyed at the sight of some chubby-thighed, diaper-clad baby commercial, and I'll show you someone who has no heart whatsoever. Because baby thighs ... they get me every time.
7. My kids finally sleeping
During the day, I may cry because I just want my babies to take a nap. But once those darlings of mine finally do go to sleep at night? I can't resist creeping into their rooms (like that mother from the "I'll Love You Forever" book) and shedding a few tears about how absolutely perfect they are.
When they’re sleeping, of course.