Halloween is a magical day when children can truly explore and express their full imaginations.

I once had a neighborhood kid knock on my door dressed as Abraham Lincoln’s beard. To clarify, he was not dressed as Abraham Lincoln. He went as the beard itself! After he explained to me what his costume was, I gave him my entire bowl of candy and immediately attempted to adopt him.

While kids may be testing the limits of their creativity this Halloween, they may also be testing your limits as a parent.

Here are a few child-pitched costume ideas we collected, that even the most open-minded parents had to reject.

1. A nudist

2. Mommy before coffee

3. The monster-in-law

4. A vegan

5. A fire truck

6. The frosting-eating monster

7. Graffiti artist

8. Charlie Chaplin

9. A doggy

10. Daddy at the family reunion

11. Anything with glitter!

12. Lifeguard (on the East Coast)

Ryan patricksRyan Patricks is an author and comedy writer in San Francisco, CA. He is a regular contributor to US Weekly, What's Really Good Magazine, and various comment sections of internet puppy videos.