1. @*&$!!!!!!

2. I hear Montana’s cheap.

3. No.

4. I knew this was going to happen.

5. Now I can eat for three!

6. I didn’t just hear that.

7. How many of them? Who, me?

8. There’s a really good chance this is a bad dream.

9. They won’t fit.

10. But we only bought one crib.

11. WHY ME?!

12. Come again?

13. I think she said twins.

14. That’s just not possible.

15. But we weren’t doing fertility treatments.

16. No, those don’t run in my family.

17. We should have used protection.

18. I regret coming here today.

19. I could really use some alcohol right now.

20. Maybe it’s a mistake.

21. Wow, those supplements really worked.

22. If I could turn back time...