The pick up, put down method is a sleep training method. It was popularized by Tracy Hogg in her book, “Secrets of the Baby Whisperer: How to Calm, Connect, and Communicate with your Baby.”
The author considers this to be the middle ground of sleep training, because the goal with this strategy is a baby who isn’t dependent on you to fall asleep, but doesn’t feel abandoned. But does it work?
It depends. Sleep training advocates usually share many reasons that their techniques are effective, but babies are individuals. What works with one baby may not work with another, including how they learn to go to sleep.
Here are the basics of this sleep training method and how to decide if it’s right for your baby.
How do I use the pick up, put down method?
There are a few steps to the pick up, put down method.
1. Bedtime routine
The process begins with your baby’s bedtime routine, whatever that may be. After you’ve completed the different stages of your baby’s routine and it’s time to put them to sleep, lay them down in their crib or bassinet. Ideally, they should be drowsy and relaxed from their soothing bedtime routine, but still awake. If your baby doesn’t fuss or cry, leave the room.
2. Stop, wait, and listen
If your baby begins crying, follow the stop, wait, and listen approach. Don’t immediately rush back in. Instead, stop for a few seconds and listen to your baby to determine if they’re simply fussing, or if they’re really worked up enough that they need you to comfort them.
3. Pick up
If your baby isn’t settling down on their own, return to the room and pick them up. Hold your baby and cuddle them to calm them down. This is the “pick up” part of the pick up, put down method.
4. Put down
Once your baby has settled down, but is still awake, lay them down again. This is the “put down” part of this sleep training method.
This process continues until your baby eventually goes to sleep, and that may take a long time, which means that this is a sleep training method that requires lots of patience. It can be a frustrating cycle for parents, and it’s very important that you are calm and quiet when you pick your baby up to comfort them.
What age should you start using the pick up, put down method?
This sleep training method is intended for babies no younger than about 4 months of age. Pick up, put down tends to be most effective around 4 to 8 months of age, but it may also be suitable for some babies who are a little older.
The cycle of picking up and putting down may be too stimulating for some babies. Instead of relaxing them, they find the process disruptive, which can have the adverse affect of working your baby up.
Steps for success with the pick up, put down method
Follow these steps for success with the pick up, put down method.
1. Bedtime routine
If you haven’t developed a soothing bedtime routine for your baby yet, start with that. Your baby’s bedtime routine could involve nursing or a bottle, then a relaxing bath. Follow that with pajamas and snuggle time with a bedtime story. Choose a relaxing routine, and stay consistent. This will help your baby learn that the bedtime routine means it’s almost time for sleep.
2. Get some rest first
Parents of babies rarely get enough sleep. But try to catch up on your rest before starting the pick up, put down method. It can be time-consuming and it may take over two hours in the beginning to get your baby down to sleep. You’ll need energy and patience to stick with this approach.
3. Listen to your baby
If they’re simply fussy, give them some time and space to settle down. You’ll be able to tell if they’re getting worked up or becoming frightened or angry.
4. Get help
This method works best if you can do it with help. Ideally, both parents should be committed to giving the pick up, put down method a fair chance. It may be helpful to enlist the help of grandparents, aunts/uncles, or another person who spends lots of time with your baby.
Does the pick up, put down method work?
Success with this method will depend on your baby’s temperament and your commitment. It’s important to stay consistent. Sleep training is a challenge, no matter which approach you try. Remember, it can take anywhere from a few days to a few weeks to see consistent changes in baby’s sleep routine.
Remember, there’s no right or wrong way to help your baby learn to fall asleep. The pick up, put down method may be a great choice for certain babies, but not for all of them. Only you can decide if this may be a good option for your family. The best recommendation is to use a technique you are comfortable with and to be consistent about it.