You would think that creating a new human being from scratch would be the hardest thing you’d ever do.
Sorry, friend. The real work has only just begun! But throughout the chaos and sleepless nights, there will be all kinds of small victories.
1. When you have your first glass of wine after nine long, long, long months of abstinence.
2. When someone gives you another piece of unsolicited advice and you get to say: “Yeah, we tried that. Didn’t work.”
3. When the phone rings and it doesn’t wake your napping baby (this once in a lifetime event is like winning the lottery).
4. When you can make coffee and actually drink it fresh from the pot, instead of having to microwave it 40 minutes later.
5. When you get to store/sell/give away/destroy your maternity clothes.
6. When you can have an adult conversation that doesn’t revolve around bowel movements, sleep patterns, or deafening crying.
7. When your baby drops their pacifier in the middle of the night and somehow manages to find it on its own.
8. When your baby miraculously forgets they are wearing a hat.
9. When you get a black belt in diaper changing and can do it in any situation or position.
10. When you get through a trip to the grocery store without a single meltdown.
11. When you prepare an organic homemade puree and witness some of it actually making it into baby’s mouth.
12. When you hide vegetables your kid doesn’t like inside normal food and it goes unnoticed.
13. When you can have a decent bath instead of splashing your armpits with water between meals like a cavewoman.
14. When you can take a decent selfie with your baby.
15. When your baby waits for your partner to get home before filling their diaper to full capacity, and you get to say: “You’re it!”
16. When your baby naps the whole way through an episode of “Grey’s Anatomy.”
17. When you eat above your sleeping baby and don’t drop a single thing on their head.
18. When your baby smiles and, for the first time, you know it’s not gas.
Brace yourselves: Toddlerhood is coming. But in the meantime, revel in the chaos and enjoy these small triumphs that only a new mom would understand.