I’ve made it 11 months with twins, and like dog years, it feels like an eternity - and a total blur. The days of having a single baby feel akin to vacation. That said, in those 11 months, I’ve managed to develop some life-saving tactics to help us all remain (somewhat) sane. With these hacks, I’ve been able to shower, eat, grocery shop, and yes, even sleep.
1. Pick up two babies at the same time.
Use those thigh muscles to squat down, balance one baby on one hip, leaning into the inside of your elbow, while using a curved arm to pick up the other. This is some Jane Fonda action!
2. Create a complete white noise vortex in the nursery.
Place two cribs on opposite sides of the room with white noise machines next to each crib. It doesn’t completely block them from hearing each other crying, but it helps.
3. Pick up items off the floor expertly using your toes.
It’s just like learning to use chopsticks.
4. Feed both babies at the same time.
Place babies in a secure baby pillow or chair. Roll up some burp cloths or baby blankets into thick rolls and place the rolls under their chins. Curve them around to ‘hold’ the bottles. Now you can relax and eat your lunch … on the floor right next to them. (Note: pediatricians advise against propping a baby’s bottle, so do this only in a pinch and never unsupervised).
5. Grocery shop with a cart and a stroller.
Slow and steady wins the race: Move one forward, then follow with the other (and maybe stash a few things underneath the stroller).
6. Respond to hecklers silently.
Politely nod at strangers who tell you, “You look busy!” when they pass you on the street. Just smile and nod. Breath, smile, and nod.
7. Save time by combining pumping and nursing.
First, get your pump parts set up. Wear a hands-free nursing bra with one side pulled down. Place one baby in a chair propped with a bottle while pumping one side and nursing on the other.
8. Recall reality TV shows to push a double stroller uphill.
Just imagine you’re practicing for The Amazing Race (hint: lean, lean, lean).
9. Accept all offers to help.
Always say “YES” when someone offers to help. Bow down.
10. Apply the use of yoga poses when necessary.
For example, remember star pose from yoga class? Use it when blocking a baby from putting rocks in their mouth while making sure the other doesn’t fall down the stairs.
11. Put both of your babies in one playground swing.
Place one facing one way and gently move them to the edge to make room for another little booty and face the other baby in the opposite direction. Voila!
12. Buy baby clothes in bulk.
Stop caring about each baby having their own wardrobe. That thinking is for amateurs! Buy baby clothing in bulk so you can use plenty of choices on both babies.
13. Live life by a schedule.
Strategically schedule naptime so you can actually take a shower. I promise you WILL survive.
14. Remember you can continue to function.
Even after you think you can’t do it anymore. There’s always coffee. Lots of coffee.