Struggling with child care and virtual learning? You’re not alone. Here are a few suggestions on how to cope.
For many of us, the closing of schools and day care centers has created an awkward bind of needing to work, provide child care, supervise virtual schooling, as well as care for ourselves and tiny humans in the midst of troubling, uncertain, and confusing times.
While particularly difficult for single parents, all working caregivers are struggling with how to juggle it all. Keep reading to explore some options for child care as well as tips on how to work from home with kids if you are lucky enough to be able to do so.
For many families, school closures, hybrid models of partial in-person schooling and partial virtual learning, and limited day care options have necessitated at least one adult at home to supervise and care for children.
Often the options for parents are limited to shifting their working hours to nontypical business hours such as evenings, late at night, or weekends so that they can watch their kids. But that is only if their job allows that kind of flexibility. For some, the only options are taking paid or unpaid leave — or quitting.
According to August research by the U.S. Census Bureau, 1 in 5 working-age adults said they were not working because the pandemic derailed existing child care setups. About 32 percent of women ages 25 to 44 compared to 12 percent of men in the same age group are not working because of child care concerns.
It makes more financial sense for the lower wage-earning spouse to leave the workforce to care for children, and wives are the lower earning spouse in 70 percent of heterosexual married couple households. It is unclear what lasting impact the pandemic and resulting quarantine will have on women and their career trajectories.
Working parents have long relied on schools and after-school programs to keep children safe during and after school hours. Yet many schools are now closed, replaced with virtual schooling, and even teachers are unsure of when they will be able to reopen.
While some parents have the relative luxury of working from home, many other families of essential workers or hourly shift workers cannot. The following child care options are not unique to the pandemic, but they’ve certainly taken on a unique application now that virtual schooling has become the new norm.
Relying on family members
Due to the pandemic and the need to care for family members, some folks are sharing quarantine with retired or older family members. While that in itself can be a burden, many multigenerational families can at least have their family members help care for their children during work hours.
For others the pandemic has limited their options for family care. Jen Chiou says she and her partner used to rely on their parents for in-person care. But now, the grandparents “can entertain the kids for a bit over FaceTime, [do] Cosmic Kids Yoga over Zoom, or help with Chinese homework but not child care during the pandemic.”
Day cares, child care centers, and preschools
For working parents of younger children and babies, some day cares and preschools are cautiously reopening for limited students. If you are considering a day care or preschool, check for adherence to the
The centers should have protocols in place to:
- screen children and staff for signs of illness upon arrival
- ensure proper social distancing
- intensify cleaning and sanitization efforts
- modify pickup and drop-off procedures
- provide adequate staff to student ratio for safety
- have staff and students wear masks, when feasible
“My son is going to an in-person preschool 4 days a week, 3 hours a day. With both my husband and I working from home, and my daughter in school virtually, we needed support with our toddler,” creative director Brandi Riley shares. “I’m incredibly grateful that they are taking tremendous precautions to keep the kids and instructors safe and socialized while we get our work done.”
Nannies and au pairs
Some families with the means to do so are hiring nannies — especially live-in nannies — and au pairs and asking some to not only care for their children, but also to fill in some educational gaps, notes The New York Times.
Nannies with education backgrounds are in high demand. In some instances, the caregivers are asked to help guide younger school-age children in setting up virtual learning technology and deal with any issues arising from the online experience, as well as caring for non-school-age kids so that parents can either go to work or work from home without interruption.
American Academy of Pediatrics spokesperson Dr. Steph Lee advises setting symptom screening and mask expectations with in-home caregivers. “If you hire an au pair or nanny for your home, discuss face coverings for them,” Lee suggests. “Depending on the age of your child, it might be difficult to have face coverings at home, so ask for more outdoor activities when possible.”
She also points out that if the caregiver is showing any signs of illness they should not be working.
Nanny share
A nanny share is when two or more families share one nanny — either with the kids being watched together by one nanny, or the caregiver alternating days between the families.
“Before joining a pod, hiring teacher or a nanny, I would clarify where they each fall within a risk tolerance scale. Would you be comfortable with their choice of activities?” explains anesthesiologist Dr. Edna Ma.
“Your circle of six friends grows significantly once you map out who their contacts are. Even if you were in a bubble, you’re actually being exposed to a much broader germ pool.”
Co-ops, microschools, or pandemic pods
Some families have chosen to homeschool in either co-ops, microschools, or pandemic pods in order to provide both education and social interaction for their kids.
Microschools and pandemic pods generally hire a teacher for a small number of students of various ages, focusing more on individual learning and interests. Homeschool co-ops are when a few families decide to homeschool together and parents either pool resources to hire a teacher or alternate teaching responsibilities.
“If a family is looking at teaching pods, do not assume this means you can relax masking and COVID precautions. All children, teachers, and parents should still be wearing cloth face coverings if age 2 and up, as recommended by the AAP,” warned Lee.
She emphasized that though the number of people exposed to your child is less than in-person instruction, “The risk for COVID-19 is not zero.”
Shared quarantine
Other families have chosen to spend quarantine with one or more families, sharing in child care, possible living expenses, errands, and household chores.
For some arrangements, families remain in their own homes, alternating days they drop off children at each other’s houses, swapping child care and work hours and shifts. Other families have rented large houses in the middle of the countryside, pooled expenses, and worked out multifamily schedules, child care, schooling, work, and various considerations.
Quit or take time away from work
Finally, one possible solution that is likely not a first choice is for parents to work less, take a leave of absence (paid or unpaid), or to quit work altogether in order to care for children. “Among parents who are not actively looking for jobs, 59 percent cite caregiving as the reason why,” said Bipartisan Policy Center (BPC) fellow Adrienne Schweer in a press release about a June BPC survey of 1,500 unemployment insurance recipients.
The survey reported numbers that are even more pronounced among parents of color: 55 percent of Hispanic and 44 percent of Black parents on unemployment insurance were not planning to return to work or had to turn down job offers due to child care needs.
For those parents who are having a rough time with working and figuring out child care — especially in light of virtual schooling, here are a few tips.
Sync your schedules
As much as possible, sync your schedule with the children’s school schedules. Single mom Roodlyne Mason notes, “In the morning, I log into work, they log into school. I planned my lunch break around theirs so I can get them fed and back to class. They have them on a really tight schedule so we rush around a lot.”
Instill independence
If your children are older, teach them how to do as much as possible on their own like Grace Kao did: “This is going to vary depending on the age of the child, but mine (10 and 12) are old enough to put their Zoom links on their own iCal calendars, to fix their own simple snacks, lunch, etc.,” advised the mom of two.
Pick shifts that work around your child’s schedule
If you work on later shifts or hourly, consider whether you can shift hours to suit your new needs. Medical social worker Karen Tc divulged how she adapted — and the challenges of doing so as well.
Tc says, “I had to work a few overnight shifts in the hospital due to our hospital’s need to be fiscally responsible during COVID. We adapted by picking shifts that allowed for child care at home, and it was just overall exhausting.”
Create space for self-care and reflection
According to therapist Jean-Arellia Tolentino, PhD, wellness practices are more essential than ever. “Normalize talking or expressing authentically about emotions, having age-appropriate conversations about current events, or creating time for reflection provides a way for children and parents to navigate strong emotions that may be coming up,” she suggests.
“Sometimes, children need modeling from parents that crying is OK to do, finding empathy when expressing difficult emotions, and learning to release emotions in healthy ways.”
Virginia Duan is the entertainment editor for Mochi Magazine, the Living Justice Editor for Diverging Magazine, and curator for the Influencer Activist Toolkit. You can find her work on various sites like Romper, Mom.com, Diverging Mag, and Mochi Magazine. She reacts to K-pop on YouTube, hosts the Noona ARMY Podcast, and founded BrAzn AZN, a series for Asian Pacific Islander Desi American creatives. Located in the Bay Area of California, she bilingual homeschools her four kids in Chinese and English. You can follow her at mandarinmama.com.