When you were younger, you probably didn’t even want to think about older couples having sex. But now that you yourself have entered this stage of life, the thought of sex should be natural. Sex doesn’t, and shouldn’t, have an expiration date.
Keep reading to get answers to seven of your top questions about having sex in your 50s and 60s.
1. What’s going on down there?
All of these changes can affect the way you experience sex, but they can also be addressed with fairly simple solutions.
Changing sexual positions and using over-the-counter (OTC) lubrication or vaginal moisturizers, for example, may help you maintain sexual enjoyment.
2. I’m no longer interested in sex. Is this normal?
A dip in libido is a common complaint made by many women of menopausal age. But this dip doesn’t have to be permanent.
Continuing to engage in sexual activity, either with your partner or through self-stimulation, may help you push past this period of decreased desire. Talking to your doctor may also provide further insight into possible solutions.
3. Is it safe to resume sex if it’s been a while?
You can still safely resume sexual activity after a long period of abstinence. However, going long periods of time without having sex after menopause can actually cause your vagina to shorten and narrow.
By abstaining, you may be setting yourself up for more painful encounters in the future.
Depending on how long it’s been, you may want to consider talking to your doctor about a vaginal dilator. This tool may help stretch your vaginal tissues back to a place that will improve sexual function and enjoyment.
Shop for vaginal dilators.
4. What if sex is too painful?
Even without a long period of abstinence, sex after menopause is sometimes just more painful.
If you’re experiencing increased pain with intercourse, particularly to the point that your desire has been greatly limited as a result, try experimenting with:
- vaginal moisturizers
- different sexual positions
You may also want to consider seeing your doctor. Sometimes pain can be caused by infections or other treatable conditions. Seeing your doctor can help you get the appropriate treatment as well as additional advice for your specific concerns.
5. What positions work best?
As we get older, our bodies start to change in ways that can sometimes make certain sexual positions painful. A position that was comfortable before may seem physically unbearable now.
Using a pillow under your back for the missionary position can add comfort. Also, positions where you’re on top will allow you to control penetration, which may be beneficial if you’re experiencing increased pain during intercourse.
You may find that standing positions are more comfortable for both you and your partner compared to positions that involve either partner being on their hands and knees.
6. What if my partner is the one who’s disinterested?
Women aren’t the only ones who experience shifts in their sexuality and how they achieve sexual pleasure.
Don’t think of these issues as setbacks but as a time for exploration. Both of you can work together to learn what’s sexually satisfying to you now.
Also, don’t place too much pressure on every encounter ending in an orgasm. Instead, focus on increasing intimacy through sexual touch and foreplay, and then follow those desires where they may lead you. Get more tips on sex and aging.
7. Are sexually transmitted diseases (STDs) still a concern?
Shop for condoms.