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Sex furniture has a reputation problem.
Far more than just (*nudge, nudge*) sex dungeon decor for the kinkiest amongst us, sex furniture can be enjoyed by rompers of all flavors — so-called “vanilla” included.
This sex furniture guide proves it.
According to Searah Deysach, longtime sex educator and owner of Early to Bed, a pleasure product company in Chicago that ships worldwide, sex furniture can basically be broken into 2 main categories:
- positioning tools
- bondage props
“Some of the furniture is designed to help lift your hips, give your neck a break, or make certain positions easier on folks of different sizes or abilities,” explains Deysach. “This group of furniture is designed to support and comfort naked, moving bodies.”
Then there’s furniture that “is made with a BDSM aesthetics in mind (think leather, wood, etc.),” says Deysach. “[It’s] designed to tie someone down, bend them, or other kinky activities.”
From sexy blankets and pillows to full-on sex cages and f*cking machines, sex furniture runs the gambit.
So how do you figure out what’s right for you? Sadie Allison, PhD, founder of online sex toy boutique Ticklekitty.com and author of “The Mystery of the Undercover Clitoris,” recommends asking yourself:
- Is the primary function of the toy to add spice to our sex life or comfort/safety?
- How much am I actually able and willing to spend?
- What’s the square footage I’m working with?
- Do I want something that I can use when I masturbate? Or something to use with my partner(s)?
She adds: “Before you purchase anything you want to use with your partner, you should probably also talk to them about what they want.” Fair!
Pillows, wedges, and ramps are basically the small, medium, and large size of the exact same thing: “A supportive device that’s designed to make certain sex positions more comfortable and accessible,” says Sadie.
Want to have anal in missionary position but can’t seem to expose your bottom hole enough? Prop a sex pillow like the Dame Pillo under your hips.
These aren’t about making your space snuggly-wuggly. They’re about easy cleanup.
Body-positive sex educator Carly S., founder of the sex toy review site Dildo or Dildon’t, recommends them for anyone who:
- loves water sports
- enjoys period sex (or any blood play, for that matter)
- has multiple partners
“They allow you to have sex on the bed without having to change the sheets,” says Carly S. Or on the carpet, couch, counter, or anywhere else without worrying about stains.
Pads are just really, really big puppy pads (for instance, the MedNet Direct XXL 5 Layer Pad). They’re disposable, which makes them great for travel.
If you’re planning to use them regularly, getting something reusable will be a better long-term investment:
Whether your priority is safety or spice, there’s a shower sex aid for you.
Mats, grip bars, and shower seats
“Mats, grip bars, and shower seats are all about making showering in general and shower sex safer,” says Carly S. “After all, nobody wants to slip, no matter what they’re doing in the shower.”
The shower upgrades that will work best depend on the size, flooring, and material of your shower.
You might consider:
- no-slip shower mats, like the Gorilla Grip Original Patented Bath Mat
- shower seats, like the Vaunn Adjustable Shower Chair and Seat or AquaTeak Shower Bench
- grip bars, like the Changing Lifestyles Safe-er-Grip Handle
Shower and bath nozzles
There are tools that transform your faucet into a literal sex toy.
The CleanStream Aluminum Angled Enema Nozzle and CleanStream Complete Cleansing System Kit can function as a prelude to backdoor exploration. Or as part of a medical play scene — rectovaginal or prostate exam, anyone?
Meanwhile, the Waterslyde turns your bath faucet into a vibrator alternative. “I can’t say enough good things about the Waterslyde,” says Carly S. Quite the rec!
Each of these resembles a slightly different piece of living room furniture, but all are designed to make boinking your boo easier.
Queening stools and thrones
Also known as sex stools, queening stools are basically chairs with a hole in the bottom where a face, penis, dildo, or hand can go. Think of it as a step stool with a toilet seat-esque top.
Others, like the Multifunctional Elasticity Pillow Chair, can be used for face sitting, 69-ing, rider-on-top, reverse rider, and more.
A stool with elastic straps is a great option for folks who don’t have the strength to hold their bodies up while on top, notes Carly S. “The straps do the bouncing for you.”
And then there are chairs that simply look like, well, chairs.
According to queer-inclusive sex educator and sex positivity advocate Lateef Taylor, they’re all designed to do the same thing: Make the kind of sex you want to be having more accessible. *claps*
Chaises and loungers
“Sex chaises and loungers look like something you’d see in any modern home,” says psychotherapist and marriage and relationship expert Rachel Wright, MA, LMFT.
“They look like couches, but are designed to make sex more comfortable,” explains Wright.
Plus, they’re usually made of a stain-resistant material. So go ahead and load up on lube.
TBH, no company does sexified sofas better than Liberator. Here’s proof:
You might think these are just, like, a place you sit on and bone. But in reality, sex benches and horses are best for kinky folks.
“Typically, sex benches allow you to strap someone down or bend someone over for a good spanking,” says Deysach.
How kinky they appear varies. The Liberator Prelude Bench King Black Label, for example, looks rather, uh, tame.
Ever seen an old-school gymnastics horse? Bondage horses are like that… but more versatile.
- restrain someone
- bend someone over
- make rider and reverse-rider more comfortable
- open up someone’s bum for anal
“Sex swing” may sound like some “Fifty Shades” swag.
While they can make an A+ addition to a kinkster’s collection, their main objective is to make certain positions more accessible.
Let’s say you and your partner have a massive height difference: A sex sling can lift the shorter partner up so that the taller partner doesn’t have to.
This is especially useful if one partner weighs more than another partner can physically lift on their own.
Freestanding sex swings and slings
As the name implies, these bad boys sit smack dab in the middle of the room.
Factors to consider before investing:
- weight limit
- accessories (like cuffs)
Door swings and slings
“Rather than setting them up in the middle of the room, you hang them from the door,” explains Carly S.
They’re a clutch alternative for apartment dwellers and folks with roommates or kids.
They’re also great for people on a budget — you can get a solid sling for under $100.
Love being on top? Need a free hand for other types of stimulation? Single or in an LDR? It’s time to invest in a toy mount.
“A toy mount is a device that holds your sex toy — typically your vibrator — so that you can experience penetration or vibration without using your hands or your partner’s,” explains Wright.
You can probs use your imagination to make a pretty educated guess on what these babes are. But we’ll tell you — plus, explain the difference between the two main types.
Rideable sex machines
Often shaped like an ottoman, “these are machines that you mount and ride as you might, say, a horse,” says Taylor.
Their primary function is to vibrate — not thrust.
By far the most popular in this category are:
“F*cking machines feature a dildo or retractable arm that’s designed to thrust in and out of you,” says Taylor.
Unlike rideable sex machines that could pass as an odd-looking foot stool, f*cking machines look like sex machines.
Bondage tables, boards, and crosses are all designed to restrain someone. Which one you choose will come down to aesthetic preference and space.
A bondage table is any type of table that can be used to tie someone down.
Sometimes these look like freaky dining or living room tables with built-in straps and cuffs that lock someone down while you whip, tease, cane, spank, and spit on them, says Taylor. See the Milking Table.
“The ones that look like massage tables are great for milking,” they say. (Milking = massaging a penis owner’s testicles and prostate.)
Boards are just bondage tables without the feet. (Can’t visualize? Check out The Bondage Board).
“Boards are the better option if your square footage is restricted,” says Taylor. “They can really turn any surface of a preexisting piece of furniture into a bondage ‘table.’”
A bondage cross (aka BDSM St. Andrew’s Cross) is a bondage board shaped like a large, person-sized X, explains Caitlin V., MPH, clinical sexologist for Royal, a vegan-friendly condom and lubricant company.
“Typically, it has rings at the top and bottom for restraining wrists and ankles,” says Caitlin V.
Intrigued? Check out:
Yes, you might call a four-poster bed that’s been decked out with an under-the-bed restraint system a BDSM bed.
For very experienced BDSM practitioners, there’s also something called a latex bed. Check out the Latex Vac Bed.
Designed with two pieces of latex and just a mouth hole, these “beds” allow someone to feel what it’s like to be tightly encased from head to toe.
“Cages are great for animal play and for displaying, and even sharing, a partner,” says Taylor.
Some, like the Kennel Adjustable Puppy Cage, look like medieval pet cages.
Others, like the Hanging Leather Strap Bondage Cage, are designed to engulf someone like a human-sized finger trap toy.
Sex stockades (think stock + cage) are pretty darn similar to the devices used to restrain and punish stock animals.
Others, like the Stockade with Chest Pad and Fucking Rod, are freestanding.
Regardless, they can be used to (consensually!):
Welp, there you have it.
Sex furniture can be a pleasurable addition to any pleasure seeker’s home, so long as they invest in the type that makes the most sense for their sexual tastes.
Go on, loves, order up and O on.
Gabrielle Kassel is a New York-based sex and wellness writer and CrossFit Level 1 Trainer. She’s become a morning person, tested over 200 vibrators, and eaten, drunk, and brushed with charcoal — all in the name of journalism. In her free time, she can be found reading self-help books and romance novels, bench-pressing, or pole dancing. Follow her on Instagram.