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Q: Why can’t I have a vaginal orgasm? I can only orgasm with a vibrator and sometimes oral sex. Is there something wrong with me? Are there positions I should try to orgasm during penetrative sex?

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with you! Most people who have vulvas need clitoral stimulation in order to experience an orgasm, and that’s OK.

And if you’ve found that you can orgasm with a vibrator or oral sex, that’s great! That means you know your body.

To be honest, there isn’t a big difference between the way a vaginal or clitoral orgasm feels.

Like the vagina, the clitoris is part of a system comprised of erogenous tissue that becomes engorged with blood when aroused.

If you’re focused on having a vaginal orgasm, consider using a sex toy that stimulates the clitoris during penetrative play.

As far as positions go, the best positions to try are the ones that are the most comfortable for you. You shouldn’t feel pressured to engage in any positions that cause unwanted sexual pain.

If you can, find a comfortable position that allows your clitoris to receive stimulation during penetration.


Dr. Janet Brito is a nationally certified Latinx sex therapist, supervisor, speaker, trainer, and author. Dr. Brito is the founder and owner of the Hawaii Center for Sexual and Relationship Health, a group practice that specializes in relationship and sex therapy, out of control sexual behavior, and gender and sexually diverse populations, and The Sexual Health School, an online training program for healthcare professionals seeking human sexuality training.

Education

  • Loyola University Chicago, BS
  • Columbia University in the City of New York, MS
  • Pacifica Graduate Institute, PhD

Certifications

  • Licensed Clinical Psychologist
  • Licensed Clinical Social Worker
  • AASECT Certified Sex Supervisor
  • AASECT Certified Sex Therapist

Professional Accomplishments

Affiliations

Headshot of Janet Brito, Ph.D., LCSW, CST
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