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We’ve been answering your questions for Sexual Health Awareness Month. If you missed some, catch up here.

Q: Why can’t I have a vaginal orgasm? I can only orgasm with a vibrator and sometimes oral sex. Is there something wrong with me? Are there positions I should try to orgasm during penetrative sex?

There’s absolutely nothing wrong with you! Most people who have vulvas need clitoral stimulation in order to experience an orgasm, and that’s OK.

And if you’ve found that you can orgasm with a vibrator or oral sex, that’s great! That means you know your body.

To be honest, there isn’t a big difference between the way a vaginal or clitoral orgasm feels.

Like the vagina, the clitoris is part of a system comprised of erogenous tissue that becomes engorged with blood when aroused.

If you’re focused on having a vaginal orgasm, consider using a sex toy that stimulates the clitoris during penetrative play.

As far as positions go, the best positions to try are the ones that are the most comfortable for you. You shouldn’t feel pressured to engage in any positions that cause unwanted sexual pain.

If you can, find a comfortable position that allows your clitoris to receive stimulation during penetration.


Janet Brito is an AASECT-certified sex therapist and supervisor who also has a license in clinical psychology and social work. She completed her postdoctoral fellowship at the University of Minnesota, one of only a few programs in the world dedicated to sexuality training. Currently, she’s based in Honolulu, Hawaii, and is the founder of the Center for Sexual and Reproductive Health. Dr. Brito has been featured on many outlets, including O: The Oprah Magazine, HuffPost, Playboy, Women’s Health, Thrive Global, and Midweek Publications. Reach out to her through her website or on Instagram.