The prostate is great at producing quick and powerful orgasms but also plays a role in sperm production.
Heard whispers of the “male G-spot” and the intense, full-body orgasms the spot is capable of producing? Turns out they’re all true.
Here’s everything you need to know about finding it and what to do with it.
The “male G-spot” is also called the P-spot; the “P” stands for prostate. The prostate is a walnut-sized gland located just below the bladder.
The prostate primarily aids in reproduction by producing seminal fluid and helping sperm live long and prosper after they’re propelled from the penis.
You can reach it in two ways: internally and externally. Both ways can feel ahh-mazing, so it comes down to your comfort level (or your partner’s).
If you want to get up close and personal, the anus provides the most direct way. It’s located about 2 inches inside the rectum. That’s about first-knuckle deep if you have average-length fingers.
You can indirectly stimulate the prostate via the taint (perineum). That’s the landing strip of skin that runs between the scrotum and anus.
Taint nothin’ wrong with opting to reach the P-spot this way if either you or your partner are looking for a less penetrative option.
Hitting the P-spot requires open communication, some essentials, and a little know-how.
Have a chat
You can’t just knock at someone’s backdoor uninvited, no matter how hospitable they’ve been in the past. And if anal play is new territory for them, a frank discussion to make sure they’re on board is a must.
Communicate openly and honestly, and keep things light. Remember that what turns you on may not be their thing, so be respectful of their choices.
Their booty, their prerogative. Be sure to get clear consent before you go there.
Gather your materials
You didn’t think you could just go in there willy-nilly, did you? There are a few things you’ll want to have on hand when you go searching for the P-spot:
- Lube: There’s no such thing as too much lube when it comes to anal play. Choose a silicone-based lube to help reduce friction and prevent painful chafing or tearing.
- Barrier protection: Sorry to spoil the romance, but poop comes out of the butt. That’s a fact. And where there’s poop, there’s bacteria. Plus, no matter how much you wash your hands, there’s probably still some bacteria under your nails. Placing a condom or latex glove over your finger or having your partner use an internal condom is a good idea if penetration is on the menu.
- Anal toys: Sex toys aren’t mandatory, but they sure can spice up prostate play. Some butt plugs are shaped with prostate stimulation in mind, which can make finding the P-spot easier.
- Wipes: Also not mandatory, but wipes are a good idea for freshening up before and after anal play. Alcohol-free wipes can help avoid irritation.
Check your hands
Before getting your hands all up in their business, be sure to thoroughly wash your hands and trim and file your nails so they’re short and smooth. This will help prevent the spread of bacteria and injuries.
Set the mood
The prostate is a part best played with when a person is relaxed and fully aroused. Some ideas for setting the mood:
Go to town
Ready to get in there, find that magic spot, and send them to another place with your mad skills? Once your partner is sufficiently relaxed and you’re both ready, take things slowly by externally massaging their prostate.
To do this:
- Use the tips of your index and middle fingers to rub, stroke, or press the perineum.
- Experiment with different sensations by trying different pressures and speeds to find what they like best.
- Use your other hand to pleasure other parts of their body, like stroking their penis or gently squeezing their balls.
- Encourage them to tell you what feels good and what they want more or less of.
When they’re ready for more:
- Apply lube to your finger(s) and slowly — like a snail’s pace slow — insert your finger into their anus an inch or two in, and start moving your finger in an upward motion toward the front of their body.
- Gently feel around to locate the prostate. It feels like a rounded bulb of tissue, similar to the tip of your nose.
- Once you locate it, move your finger in a “come here” motion over and over against the prostate.
- Again, ask them what feels good and how they want to be touched: Faster? Slower? More pressure?
- If you’re both up for it, simultaneously stroking or sucking them off can really kick the pleasure up a notch or 10.
FYI — massaging the prostate can sometimes cause the release of a milky fluid. This is why stimulating the prostate is sometimes referred to as milking.
If you see milk, keep going, because orgasm is on the horizon.
If you’re the one on the receiving end of prostate play, your main objective is to sit back and relax. Still, there are a few things you can do to enhance the experience.
Keep the lines of communication open. Tell your partner what turns you on. Discuss boundaries, like whether you want to stick to external stimulation or take it inside.
Use the bathroom
Prostate stimulation can make you feel like you’re gonna pee, and anal penetration can bring on the sensation of needing to poop. When you combine the two, well, you can imagine what might happen.
If you do both beforehand, you can enjoy all the feels without worrying about an accident.
We all have our hang-ups when it comes to our bodies, including our butt and sex. To keep them from interfering with your good time, do what you must to be totally comfortable before butt play.
For some, this means a thorough shower. Others might prefer an enema to clean things out first. But again, do whatever makes you comfortable (even if it’s nothing).
Enjoy the ride
Prostate play is all about pleasure, so do what you need to enjoy the ride. That means incorporating toys, asking for more or less lube, changing positions, and speaking up if something doesn’t feel right.
With a little contorting, you can probably reach the prostate using all kinds of positions, but here are three easy ones to get you started.
To do this:
- The receiving partner lies facedown with their legs slightly apart.
- The giver sits next to them on the side most comfortable for them. The giver slides a pillow under their partner’s hips to help slightly raise their butt as they massage their prostate.
To do this:
- The receiver gets down on all fours.
- The giver kneels behind them to reach their anus.
On the side
To do this:
- The receiver lies on their side and brings one leg up to their chest.
- The giver sits behind them to reach their anus.
Bummer! But it’s not the end of the world.
Prostate stimulation is a bit of an acquired taste, and not everyone’s a fan. Also, finding the right approach can take a bit of trial and error. Communication can definitely help you figure out what went wrong.
Unless you both just weren’t into it, you can always try again if both parties are willing.
On your next try, consider:
- more foreplay
- a different position
- a sex toy (perhaps with some vibration to mix things up)
- more lube
It’s true: The body is a freakin’ wonderland. In addition to the P-spot, there are a few other lesser-known spots you can find.
The glans penis, which is fancy talk for the head, is packed with nerve endings that feel oh so good when touched, licked, or sucked.
Put that lube and free hand to good use, and give them an extra treat while playing with their prostate. Take it further by running your wet lips over the head and taking it in your mouth for some swirling tongue action.
Might as well show the frenulum some love while you’re in the area, too. That’s the ridge of skin on the underside of the penis that connects the shaft to the head.
The frenulum is wild sensitive. It has the power to trigger orgasms like no other part of the penis.
Flick it lightly with your tongue while also playing with their P-spot, or let your thumb graze it while getting handy with their shaft.
Even if you take the internal route to get to the P-spot, that doesn’t mean you should forget about the perineum.
Let your finger or a vibrating sex toy work its magic on this landing strip of pleasure.
Contemplating rimming? A tongue on the perineum is a great spot for testing the waters or sending them over the edge while your fingers or a toy are in P-town.
It’s not just ornamental. The fun bag’s got feelings, too! Gently massage the balls and prostate at the same time for double the fun.
They want more? Run your finger gently up and down the seam that runs down the center of the scrotum. That seam is called the scrotal raphe. It’s your secret weapon for mind-blowing hand jobs and blow jobs.
The “male G-spot” may not be the official term for the prostate, but it has the potential to live up to the hype with a little practice. Take things slow, communicate, and use lots of lube to find and master the prostate.
Adrienne Santos-Longhurst is a freelance writer and author who has written extensively on all things health and lifestyle for more than a decade. When she’s not holed-up in her writing shed researching an article or off interviewing health professionals, she can be found frolicking around her beach town with husband and dogs in tow or splashing about the lake trying to master the stand-up paddle board.