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Privacy may be hard to come by thanks to the pandemic, but lockdown lovemaking — solo or partnered — is totally doable! Even if you’re in close quarters with the fam, Floofy, and Fido.

This doesn’t just go for pandemic panky either!

These tips will come in handy anytime headboard-bashing risks rousing others, like if you share your space with roomies or kids, have thin walls and neighbors, or are staying with or hosting others.

First, sneaky sex is hot. There’s nothing like knowing you could get busted at any time to get the adrenaline pumping and make you feel like a total badass.

Also, sex and orgasms are good for your physical and mental well-being because they:

  • lower stress and blood pressure
  • help you sleep
  • reduce your risk of heart disease and stroke
  • boost your immunity
  • relieve headaches, cramps, and other types of pain

If you’re coupled up, kissing, touching, and sex boost oxytocin, which helps build intimacy and strengthen your bond.

Don’t let the new coronavirus stop you from getting it on, but do be smart about it. There’s nothing sexy about risking your health or someone else’s.

If you’re gonna get off during the pandemic — and you totally should — these tips can help make it safer:

  • DON’T do it with someone new. Now’s not the time for an IRL hookup with a partner who isn’t already isolating at your home.
  • DO hookup virtually. You can still play with someone new and physical distance like a boss by taking your sesh online and getting each other off via video.
  • DON’T forget about other technology. Try sexting, phone sex, or sharing erotic emails. App-controlled sex toys are fun for virtual hookups, too.
  • DO be careful with your live-in partner. Unless you’ve both been 100 percent isolated for a few weeks, you might want to tweak your moves to lower the risk. Avoid face-to-face positions and kissing for now, especially if you’re feeling sick. Use condoms for P-in-V or anal sex, and wash your bits and bobs thoroughly before and after play.
  • DON’T forget to masturbate while you isolate. Show yourself some love during lockdown with and without your partner. It’s risk-free and oh so fun!
  • DO use lots of lube. Lube makes sex better (and safer!) whether you’re flying solo, playing with toys, or having any kind of sex with an IRL partner.
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Isolating solo doesn’t mean you need to miss out on all the sexy fun. Toe-curling Os can be had without another human in sight.

Set the mood

You deserve romance, so romance yourself by setting the mood.

Setting the mood is all about what makes you feel good and turns you on. You can try dimming the lights, lighting some candles, and putting on a playlist of sexy tunes — which will also help mask moans, BTW.

Location, location, location

With others at home, you need to consider the prime location for getting yourself off.

The most important feature of said location is a locking door so no one crashes your party for one. If you have a bedroom with a lock, you’re golden. Rub on!

Bathrooms are great, too. Running the water can drown out a symphony of squeals and a steamy shower or bath makes for a sensual scene on its own.

Bonus: The warm water can help you relax so you can really focus on the feels.

Get creative with your options and consider any space where you’re unlikely to get caught in the act.

Bring in the props

Certain props can enhance your solo sesh and help you keep iron the down low.

Consider things like:

  • pillows and cushions to help you get comfy, find the right angle, and offer something to moan into
  • a white noise machine to help mask any sounds you make
  • a tablet or laptop if you want to watch porn

Best positions

Space may dictate your position (depending on how cramped your set-up is), but it’s all good.

If you have space to lie down, try lying face down while you rub one out or hump your mattress or a cushion. Doggy style’s great, too, because you can arch your back to reach your penis, vulva, or anus.

If it’s standing room only, supporting yourself against a sturdy surface is a must. Prop one foot up on a chair, side of the tub, or the toilet for easier access to your nether regions.

If your space provides room to sit, lean back and have at it.

Sex toys to try

Some toys can take sneaky solo sex to another level without blowing your cover. You’ve got vibrators, butt plugs, ball gags… oh my!

Keep these goodies in mind when shopping for discreet sex toys online:

With a little prep, having a screen between doesn’t have to stop you from getting each other off in a big way.

Here’s how to make sex with a virtual partner all that and a bag of chips.

Set the mood

Yeah, you can set the mood for a romantic romp while practicing physical distancing!

To do this, create some ambience with candles, but be sure to add a strategically placed lamp or ring light, too.

The goal is enough light so they can enjoy the show without looking like you’re in an interrogation room.

Cleaning up nice is important, too. Show your virtual hookup the same love you would if meeting IRL. Brush your hair, tidy your pubes (if that’s what you’re into), and put on something you look hot in.

FYI, it doesn’t need to be lingerie or anything like that unless that’s what you feel good in!

Location, location, location

For the love of all things dirty, please oh please choose the room with the most privacy in the house, even if it’s the attached garage!

A locking door and access to music or running water to drown out the dirty talk and heavy breathing is key. You’ll worry less about being heard and instead be able to focus on each other.

Don’t worry too much about what your space looks like. You can make any space seduction-worthy by using a virtual background with your app or just hanging a sheet behind you.

Bring in the props

Props can make your video boink next-level and help keep it discreet.

A white noise machine can spare your virtual lover from less-than-alluring household sounds, like loud chatter or clanking dishes, while also masking your dirty talk or squeals o’ pleasure.

Pillows and cushions let you angle your body just right and make cold, hard floors comfier if you don’t have the luxury of sprawling out on a bed. Best of all, they muffle the sounds of a scream-inducing orgasm.

Best positions

Positions should work with the space available AND give you and your boo a prime view.

While full frontal’s fun, you can romp within your comfort zone by playing with camera placement, sheets, or bubbles in a bath. Virtual or IRL, it’s your body and you decide how to use it.

Positions to consider:

  • leaning back into some pillows or the tub = easy access for you and primo view for them
  • sitting at a desk or table lets you FaceTime for real until you’re ready for the peep show
  • kneeling provides stability on any surface, so your hands are free to play and move your phone up, down, or back with ease

Sex toys to try

Screamers, get your hands on a ball gag pronto.

Now, try a quiet techy toy to take your virtual love-in to another level. I’m talking app-enabled sex toys that can be controlled from afar.

Some suggestions, which you can buy online:

  • For folks with a prostate, the Edge by Lovense is adjustable and waterproof, with unlimited vibration patterns that can be activated by sound and even sync to the beat of your music.
  • For penis havers, We-Vibe Verge vibrating ring pleases the peen and the perineum.
  • For vulva havers, the Lovense Nora Bluetooth rabbit vibe’s a treat for the clit, V, and G-spot.

Coronavirus canoodling with an IRL partner can still be insanely hot even with others in the house.

Set the mood

Pull out all the stops when setting the mood to help keep you in the zone while others go on about their business.

Things that can help:

  • a sexy playlist
  • some mutually stimulating porn
  • sexy storytelling via shared fantasies or an erotic book
  • a hot bath or shower
  • candles
  • a sensual massage

Location, location, location

Squeaky springs and headboards smashing against the wall are obvious attention grabbers. Skip the bed and get down and dirty on the floor if you want to bang.

Need even more privacy? Throw it back to junior high and head for the closet for the adult version of Seven Minutes in Heaven.

If you can both sneak in and out of the bathroom without rousing others, running water can help keep your rendezvous a secret.

Bring in the props

Anything that helps drown out the sounds of your sesh tops the list of must-have props for IRL sex in lockdown:

  • white noise machine
  • speaker or another device for playing music
  • TV

Use cushions and pillows to prop your privates for play and for some extra cushion for the pushin’ when on your knees or back. Use them to smother your sex sounds, too.

Speaking of pillows, adding a sex pillow to your raunchy repertoire is worth considering anytime, but especially when you need to be extra creative with your positions.

Best positions

As long as you have space, most positions can be tweaked for discretion by minding the thrust, slapping, or slurping.

A couple of super versatile ones to try:

  • Standing O: Perfect for manual play, butt play, oral sex, and penetrative sex. One partner stands with their back or front to a wall or other surface for support, while the other stands, kneels, or sits in front or behind.
  • Rider on top: The penetrating partner lies on their back and the receiving partner straddles them for P-V, P-in-A, or frottage. The receiver controls the depth, speed, and those tell-tale crotch-slapping sounds.

Sex toys to try

Online ordering and contactless delivery mean you can stock your goodie drawer and keep your sex life hot even during a pandemic.

I already mentioned the joys of a sex pillow. Here are some other toys you can enjoy together while keeping your playtime private:

A full house and a pandemic don’t need to keep you from getting it on. The right position, some background noise, and a little craftiness will go a long way when you want to partake in some lusty lockdown action without anyone being the wiser.


Adrienne Santos-Longhurst is a freelance writer and author who has written extensively on all things health and lifestyle for more than a decade. When she’s not holed-up in her writing shed researching an article or off interviewing health professionals, she can be found frolicking around her beach town with husband and dogs in tow or splashing about the lake trying to master the stand-up paddle board.