The simple truth is that getting harder erections — barring a medical, prescription, or mental health constraint — is achievable. Simple yet consistent augmentations to your lifestyle can go a long way.

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Erection firmness or duration is not a reflection of your worth or sexual skills. Difficulty getting harder erections may be caused by medication side effects, a health challenge, a relationship difficulty, or other factors.

If you’re concerned about how long or hard your erections are, know that it’s possible to get harder erections — sometimes even without prescription medications.

A combination of talking with your partner, making a few lifestyle adjustments, and forming new habits may help. Here are several suggestions for getting closer to your full potential without having to use medication.

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1. Start by talking with your partner

Talking with your partner is the only way to communicate how you’re feeling and what you’re experiencing.

Use this time to open up a discussion about any anxiety, discontent, or even boredom you may have with your current sex life.

Here are some tips to help spark a healthy, productive conversation:

  • Dissatisfaction with your sexual performance doesn’t equal dissatisfaction with your partner: You may want to reassure your partner about your feelings toward them. A conversation about your sex life likely doesn’t mean the end of this pairing; you may just need something new to spice things up.
  • Sexual behaviors are often learned from media: This includes both positive and negative depictions of sexual activity. Be aware that what you think sex is supposed to be may not be what you or your partner want.
  • Choose a time that’s free from distraction: This isn’t the time to multitask. You don’t want to risk making your partner feel unheard during a vulnerable conversation.

2. Do what you can to minimize or better manage your stress

Research from 2022 shows that psychological factors like stress and anxiety are often the cause of ED.

Stress and anxiety can also make you more likely to develop other conditions that have been linked to ED, including:

Try these tips to reduce stress:

  • Listen to music.
  • Light an aromatherapy candle or diffuse essential oils.
  • Write down your thoughts in a journal.
  • Make yourself laugh by watching a funny movie or stand-up comedy special.

3. Eat more fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and legumes

The nutrients in many fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and legumes help improve blood flow throughout your body — including your penis.

Blood flow to the penis is one of the keys to healthy, consistent erections.

Here are some foods that may help:

  • Fruits high in antioxidants and anthocyanins, such as blueberries, have been shown to help protect body tissues and lower your risk of heart disease as early as 1993.
  • Foods high in vitamin B12, such as fermented soy-based tempeh, can help support other bodily functions that contribute to erectile health, according to a 2019 study.
  • Foods with L-arginine, such as oatmeal, can help relax your muscles and improve blood flow, according to a 2003 study.

4. Feel free to drink more caffeine

Love coffee or tea? Great! A 2005 review showed that caffeine may improve blood flow and relax the muscles that help you get and keep an erection.

Try to keep it to black coffee, unsweetened tea, and caffeinated drinks without sweeteners.

5. Get at least 20 minutes of moderate exercise every day

Some 2013 research suggests that physical inactivity can have a negative effect on erectile function.

When you get regular exercise, you might benefit in more ways than one. Just 20 minutes of exercise per day can help improve your circulation and aid in weight management — two key factors in overall erectile health.

Make time for a short walk or jog, or consider the following moves for an at-home workout:

Watch how much time you spend cycling, though

Some research from 2015 suggests the pressure put on the blood vessels and nerves in your pelvic area when biking can lead to ED.

More research is needed to know if there’s truly a connection.

If you bike a lot to work or just for fun, consider investing in a seat that takes some of the pressure off your perineum, where pressure may do the most damage.

6. Eat less fatty, fried, and processed foods

Eating a diet high in fatty, fried, or processed foods may increase your risk of conditions that can affect your sexual health and overall well-being, according to a 2011 study.

These conditions include:

You may find it helpful to swap high fat dairy products, like yogurt and milk, for low fat versions. You may also want to opt for oat or whole grain cereals instead of processed ones.

If you’re usually pressed for time, you may find it helpful to keep salad greens and other easy-to-prep vegetables and grains like quinoa on hand.

Use simple whole foods like these to throw a quick, nutritious meal together, or even prep a meal or two in advance.

7. Cut back on your alcohol intake

Heavy alcohol consumption was associated with a higher risk of sexual dysfunction in a 2007 study.

One or two drinks typically won’t affect ED. A 2018 review suggests it may even help lower your risk of erectile issues.

But there’s a direct correlation between how many drinks you have and how often you have issues with sexual performance.

8. Try to cut back your nicotine use

It may be a good idea to reduce your tobacco and nicotine intake.

Nicotine and other chemicals in vaporizers, cigarettes, cigars, and other products can damage blood vessels and reduce the effectiveness of nitric oxide.

Nitric oxide opens up your blood vessels, allowing blood to flow through more easily when you’re erect. Interfering with the effectiveness of nitric oxide can make it more difficult to get and stay erect.

The earlier you quit, the lower your overall risk of developing ED.

9. Try something new in the bedroom

Before you do anything too drastic or outside of your comfort zone, start slow and keep communication lines open as you try:

  • New positions: For example, you could raise your partner’s legs on your shoulders when you enter, do it from behind while lying on your side or with your partner on their hands and knees, or have your partner keep their legs closer together to tighten the vaginal canal or anal area.
  • Sex toys: Handheld vibrators, penis rings, butt plugs, and anal beads can be a fun way to stimulate the penis, clitoris, or anus. Make sure to use these items safely and clean them between usage.
  • Other forms of sexual contact: Use your mouth to build excitement, either on each other’s genitals or other erogenous areas.
  • Different entry points: In a heterosexual relationship and only tried vaginal sex? Ask your partner if they’re interested in trying anal or if they’re willing to try a strap-on. Pro tip: Bring plenty of lube!
  • Role-playing: Set up a situation or act as characters to help build an arousing story around your sexual encounter.
  • Focus less on sexual performance: Instead, focus more on identifying what type of touch feels the most pleasurable.

10. Consider the Mediterranean diet

Some research from 2017 suggests the Mediterranean diet can help with several underlying factors that may contribute to ED.

Following this diet may help:

  • lower cholesterol
  • increase antioxidants
  • increase L-arginine levels
  • improve blood flow

If you want to gradually ease into it, start by eating more of the following:

  • vegetables, like kale, spinach, and carrots
  • fruits, like apples, bananas, and grapes
  • nuts and seeds, like almonds, walnuts, and sunflower seeds
  • legumes like beans, lentils, and peanuts
  • tubers, like potatoes and yams
  • poultry, like chicken and turkey
  • eggs
  • dairy, like cheese and Greek yogurt
  • healthy fats, like extra-virgin olive oil and avocados

11. Make sure you’re getting enough sleep

Not getting enough sleep, especially as a result of sleep apnea and other sleep disorders, has been linked to an increased risk of ED, according to a 2005 study.

A 2019 study suggests losing sleep can also make you more likely to develop plaque in your arteries, or atherosclerosis.

This can affect your circulation, and, in turn, make it more difficult to get and maintain an erection.

Here are some tips for making sure you get your 6 to 8 hours per night:

  • Turn off all screens — including your phone, computer, or TV — at least 1 hour before bed.
  • Get regular exercise during the day.
  • Avoid caffeinated drinks after about 6 p.m.
  • Limit any daytime naps to an hour or so at most.
  • Try to go to bed and wake up at the same time each day.
  • Consider taking a melatonin supplement about 1 hour before bed.
  • Keep your bedroom at around 70°F (21°C).

Q: Why do I have a firm erection when I masturbate and not when I’m with a partner?

Since masturbation is a solo activity, if you’re aroused, you can probably get yourself to an orgasm without much help because you can focus entirely on the good feelings that come with pleasuring yourself.

But sex with another person brings in more complexity: both your and your partner’s moods, emotions, level of trust with each other, and levels of confidence. To reduce performance anxiety, focus more on discovering what’s most pleasurable to you versus how well you’re sexually performing.

This is where communication is crucial. Openly discussing any anger, resentment, embarrassment, or unresolved conflicts can help maintain the trust and intimacy needed for a healthy sexual relationship.

The cause of your erectile dysfunction will determine how you treat it. Fortunately, there are many treatment options available today.

The most common cause of ED is reduced blood flow to the penis. During arousal, blood flows into the tissues of the penis, which causes it to harden, resulting in an erection.

If blood isn’t able to flow unobstructed to the penis, it can prevent an erection, cause an erection to be lost prematurely, or reduce its overall hardness.

Phosphodiesterase type 5 (PDE5) is an enzyme that can restrict blood flow. It’s often to blame when someone experiences ED.

This is why medications like Viagra and Cialis are so effective: They are both PDE5 inhibitors. By blocking or inhibiting PDE5, blood flow to the penis is improved, helping you get harder erections.

However, the cause of ED isn’t always physical. Many factors can contribute to ED, such as:

This is why it’s important to talk with a doctor if you think you’re experiencing ED symptoms. A doctor can more accurately diagnose your symptoms and rule out any other contributing factors.

Having excess weight or obesity can affect your sex drive and increase your risk of conditions that affect your sexual health, including:

Eating a balanced diet and getting regular exercise are key.

You can make an appointment with a doctor or other healthcare professional if you’re frequently:

  • concerned about the overall firmness of your erection
  • unable to get or maintain an erection
  • stressed or concerned about your sexual performance

These could be symptoms of ED.

Low testosterone levels can also affect your sexual performance. Consider speaking with a doctor if you notice any of the following:

  • reduced semen volume
  • abnormal hair loss
  • persistent fatigue
  • difficultly concentrating
  • trouble with your memory
  • losing muscle mass
  • abnormal fat buildup, especially in the chest (gynecomastia)

A doctor can order some blood tests and recommend treatment if you have low testosterone levels. If you don’t already have a healthcare professional in mind, our sister company Healthgrades’ MyHealthMatch tool can help you connect to physicians in your area.

Weak erections can be caused by any number of factors, all of which differ for each individual. It’s most important to pay attention to what’s going on in your world — personally, professionally, and physically — and think about how it could be affecting your sex life.

As we get older, it’s very common to see a dip in our sexual health. ED is also more common in older males.

If you’re concerned about the strength of your erections, it’s worth meeting with a doctor to rule out any physical health issues that may be contributing to a softer erection.

Overall arousal may contribute to the strength of your erection, too. It’s worth considering any recent lifestyle or relationship changes that may be affecting your arousal, such as:

  • being under a lot of stress in your daily life
  • being distracted by things outside of sex
  • feeling less attracted to your partner
  • holding on to negative feelings toward your partner

It can be difficult to say exactly how long the average erection lasts. Many factors can contribute to the overall length of time.

For someone who reaches orgasm very quickly, this period of time is shortened because the penis usually stops being erect after ejaculation.

For people who last longer during sex or have a sexual encounter that’s drawn out over a longer period of time, an erection can last much longer.

But, on average, an erection lasts for the length of a sexual encounter — around 7 to 13 minutes.

Medications that help someone have an erection, like Viagra and Cialis, allow blood to flow more easily to the penis. In many cases, they can cause a longer erection.

However, if your erection lasts longer than 4 hours, seek immediate medical attention. You may be experiencing priapism. This is a serious medical condition where blood is unable to flow out of the penis. It can cause severe or permanent damage if left untreated.

No, you need to talk with a doctor (whether it be in-person or telemedicine) to get a prescription to get any brand name or generic ED medication like Cialis (tadalafil), Viagra (sildenafil), and Levitra (vardenafil).

You can meet with a doctor to discuss your symptoms, and if it’s appropriate, they will prescribe the right ED medication for you. If you’d like an online doctor’s appointment, you can also consider the following telemedicine options:

  • Hims: You’ll complete an online questionnaire and consult with a licensed medical professional in your state. They’ll evaluate you to determine which ED medication is right for you. The prescription will be shipped from a licensed pharmacy in discreet packaging to your home. Consultation fees are not listed upfront on Hims’ website.
  • The prescription will be shipped from a licensed pharmacy in discreet packaging to your home. Lemonaid Health’s website has pricing for each type of ED medication, ranging from $50 to $60 for the first order.
  • Roman: You’ll complete an online questionnaire and consult with a licensed medical professional in your state. They’ll evaluate you to determine which ED medication is right for you. The prescription will be shipped from a licensed pharmacy in discreet packaging to your home. Costs are not listed upfront on Roman’s website.

If you’ve already met with a doctor and would like to compare pharmacy options, GoodRx is available to help you search online to find cheaper pharmacy prices and also has coupons for many prescriptions.

Aside from oral medications like Cialis, there are several options to treat ED.

These include:

No foods or beverages are a quick fix for erectile dysfunction. But a healthy diet can support your blood circulation, which can support erectile health.

A balanced, nutrient rich diet is a good place to start. You might want to try the Mediterranean diet, which has been linked to good erectile health.

There’s also some evidence that moderate amounts of caffeine can support your erections.

On the other hand, you’ll want to avoid excessive amounts of fatty foods and alcohol.

    If you’ve tried the above suggestions and you’re still unhappy with how hard your erections are, it’s a good idea to speak with a healthcare professional. Sometimes, erectile difficulties are symptoms of health conditions, like low testosterone levels. A healthcare professional can help you explore treatment options.

    Although erection issues can be difficult to experience, there are a variety of ED solutions out there. It’s important to keep communication open with your partner.