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In a CrossFit box, DT is a much-dreaded workout.

In the sack, however, DT is code for a widely lauded oral sex position: deep throat.

Lucky for you (and your partner), we’re talking about the latter here.

If you’re an active Twitter user, you likely remember the tweet that went viral in July 2018 featuring a man who ruptured his airways giving head.

“Excuse the bad angle but remember when I sucked a hulk sized d*** and ended up in ER afterwards LMFAO never forget,” read the tweet.

Never forget indeed.

Ruptured airways, also known as a tracheobronchial injury, aren’t the only possible deep throat injury. Other injuries include throat rawness, throat bruising, gagging, and vomiting.

All that said, deep throating itself isn’t actually dangerous.

“Deep throating is typically safe,” says clinical sexologist Megan Stubbs, Ed.D, author of the forthcoming book “Playing Without a Partner: A Singles’ Guide to Sex, Dating, and Happiness.”

“But like most sexual activities we might try, there’s some risk if you don’t know your personal limits or listen to your body.”

Signs you may be pushing yourself too far:

  • You feel like you’re choking.
  • Your throat feels raw.
  • You’re (unintentionally) gagging.
  • You’re (unintentionally) vomiting.

All that said: Yes, sexually transmitted infections (STIs) can be transferred during oral sex. Learn more about oral sex and STIs here.

“Being deep throated can feel pleasurable for the receiver because the throat is tighter than the mouth, and some people find it sexy visually,” says Texas-based sex educator Goody Howard, MSW, MPH, host of LICK! a penis-focused oral sex workshop.

“Deep throating someone can be pleasurable because the amount of pleasure you’re providing someone can be an ego stroke,” Howard says.

Plus, doing so may make you feel powerful.

But, deep throating is advanced oral sex territory — and not for blow job beginners.

“There’s quite a bit of technique involved with taking a penis or dildo that far into the mouth,” she says. “You need to learn to control your breathing and distract your gag reflex.”

Before we get into the down and dirty deets of DT, let’s get some oral sex basics out of the way.

Start slow

Don’t go from zero to deep throat — gradually work your way up to having the entire phallus in your mouth.

“Spend some time licking the shaft, circling the head, sucking the tip, and flicking the frenulum,” suggests Stubbs.

You can increase the pace and amount of penis or dildo in your mouth as momentum builds.

Don’t ignore the head

“The head of the penis is a bed of sensitive nerve endings,” says Stubbs.

That means some penis owners will LOVE having it touched directly between deep-throat thrusts, and others may find it overstimulating.

Use verbal and nonverbal communication to figure out what your partner likes.

Are they shifting their hips toward your mouth when you focus on the tip? Odds are good they enjoy having their head stimulated.

Are they shifting their hips away or grimacing when you focus on the tip? Odds are they don’t.

You can also ask, “Do you like when I lick the head, or is it too sensitive?”

Pay attention to their body language

You shouldn’t *only* pay attention to their body language cues when you graze the tip.

You always want to be tuned into those cues throughout. They give you insight into what your partner does and does not like.

Lock eyes

One of the best ways to ramp up the intimacy quotient of deep throating is to stare down your partner as you do.

Or, ya know, gaze lovingly into their eyes like the softy you are.

Use more than just your mouth

It’s called oral sex, not oral only sex. In other words, use your hands!

“Using your hands is a great way to keep your mouth from getting tired, as well as a great way to stimulate the entire penis and mix up sensations,” says Howard.

Add lube

When you start using your hands, you may want more than spit to support the slide-and-glide of your hands along the shaft.

Enter: lube.

“Any lube can be helpful,” says Howard. “But flavored lubricant adds in an additional sense (taste) into the experience for you.”

Important: Avoid numbing lube.

“If you use a numbing lubricant, you’re not going to be able to tune in and adjust to your body’s limits,” says Stubbs. “Your throat will likely be very raw when the numbing agent wears off.”

If you want to practice, grab a dildo.

“You don’t want to use a hot dog, banana, or cucumber,” says Stubbs. “But practicing putting a dildo or your own fingers in your mouth will help you learn how deep you can comfortably take a partner.”

Deep throating a phallus isn’t like wearing a butt plug.

Meaning, while a butt plug goes in the hole and stays in the hole, the phallus should constantly be moving in and out of the throat, in what Howard calls a “plunge motion.”

So long as the phallus is in motion, breathing shouldn’t be an issue.

To gag or not to gag, that is the question. (Yes, it is a choice!)

How to avoid it

“To avoid gagging, figure out how far the penis or dildo can go down your throat without you gagging, and then make a ring with your fingers at that point and only go down to that point,” says Howard.

Optional: Stroke the part below your fingers with your hand or a vibrator.

How to lean into it

“Some people enjoy thinking they’re ‘so big’ that they make their partner gag,” says board certified sexologist Lanae St. John, author of “Read Me: A Parental Primer for ‘The Talk.’

So, you might allow yourself to gag or “perform” gagging to stroke their ego and put on a show.

Vomiting while deep throating may sound like a big deal, but it doesn’t have to be.

“If you vomit, just rinse your mouth out and then hop in the shower with your boo so you can rinse the vomit off,” says St. John.

What you might say if you vomit:

  • “Babe, I’m sorry! I got a little over-excited and took you deeper than I could handle. Can I help you clean off in the shower?”
  • “Oof! I guess my body was not having that hunk of meat! I’m so sorry! Let me grab you a washcloth.”
  • “Hey [insert name here]. I just threw up on your dick, let’s go to the shower to rinse you off.”

“Any position that optimizes the opening of the throat with the angle of the [phallus] is ideal,” says St. John. Start with these three.

Lay for throat action

Have the giver lay on the bed on their back, head tilted back over the edge of the bed, “which opens up the throat,” says Stubbs.

Next, have the receiver straddle the giver’s mouth, rocking their hips forward and back to slide their bits in and out of the giver’s throat.

“The receiver might hold a wand vibrator against the giver’s bits while they do so,” she notes. Hot.

Standard

Face it: The most classic BJ position of all time is from your knees.

Depending on the height and angle of your partner’s goods, that may work just fine for deep throating, too.

If their penis or dildo is tilted down and they’re taller than you, it will work. Ditto goes if it has an upward tilt, and is lower than your mouth.

Otherwise, the angle may *not* be ideal.

Missionary

For this one, “The receiver lies on their back, and the giver crawls between their legs and sucks,” Howard says.

This configuration gives the giver quite a bit of leverage and control, allowing them to pull back when needed.

There are a few different techniques.

Howard recommends trying, what she’s coined, the “Say ah” method once the receiver is warmed up.

“When you’re ready to take the penis or dildo deep into your mouth, you’re going to inhale through your nose, and exhale through your mouth saying ‘AHHHH’ as the penis or dildo plunges straight down into your throat,” she explains.

“The ‘AHHHH’ reminds you to breathe, helps open up your throat, creates a vibration that distracts your gag reflex, and provides additional buzzy sensation against the penis or dildo.”

How’s that for a win-win-win-win?

Odds are good you’ve got some pending deep throat Q’s. We answer them below.

Why is my partner so quiet? Am I doing OK?

The only way to know if your partner is enjoying themselves is to ask!

You might ask:

  • “How does this feel?”
  • “Do you prefer when I do this [demonstrate one thing] or this [demonstrate a second thing]?”
  • “How much pressure do you like me to use?”
  • “Tell me when I try a technique that you like.”

What do I do if my mouth gets tired?

Ultimately, it depends on what you want to do.

“If your mouth gets tired, and you want to, you can continue pleasuring your partner with your hands,” says Howard.

“You might use a pepper-grinder motion with your hands, and put their balls in your mouth; or you might stroke up and down and give your mouth a complete break,” she says.

But you can also switch activities entirely!

You might say:

  • “My mouth is getting tired. How would you feel about switching roles for a bit?”
  • “My jaw is cramping, and I’d love to feel you inside me. Is that something you’d be interested in trying tonight?”
  • “My mouth is getting tired. Do you want to try something else?”

Does it matter if I spit or swallow?

It does *not* matter!

“There’s no hidden meaning to swallowing; it does not mean you love them more, and it will not affect whether or not someone commits to you,” says St. John. “So whether you spit or swallow is for you to decide.”

If you decide to spit, she recommends keeping some tissues, a glass, or rag nearby to spit into.

Howard recommends telling your partner that you’re going to spit ahead of time so that they won’t think you’re spitting because they taste bad.

You might say:

  • “Just wanted to let you know that I prefer not to swallow. So I’m going to grab a glass of water I can spit into when we’re done.”
  • “Just so you know, I spit. Do you have a rag I can spit into?”
  • “I’d rather not swallow tonight. Would you prefer that I spit, or do you want to ejaculate in your hand or on your stomach?”

What if I don’t like the taste?

Body fluids and body parts have a taste — so some flavor is normal.

As one Redditor put it, it will taste ‘like a slightly salty massive thumb.”

If you don’t like the taste, you might (nicely) ask your partner to shower before you play, request that they wear a condom, or grab some flavored lubricant.

Worth mentioning: Foul-odored discharge is a common STI symptom. So, if you haven’t already had the STI conversation with your partner, do that now.

You can stop whenever you want to stop.

If the person you’re deep throating can ejaculate, that is N-O-T a prerequisite in order for you to stop.

Once you do stop, what you do next is up to you and your partner(s)! So ask them what their wants and needs are, and don’t shy away from sharing yours.

Some things you might say:

  • “How are you feeling? Would you rather I use my hands on you or us to masturbate side by side?”
  • “What do you want to do next? I’m thinking I’d love to have my butt played with. How does that sound to you?”
  • “How would you feel if we took a breather to rehydrate, and then have penetrative intercourse?”

Deep throating can be pleasurable for the receiver *and* giver so long as you listen to your body, start slow, and communicate, communicate, communicate along the way.


Gabrielle Kassel is a New York-based sex and wellness writer and CrossFit Level 1 Trainer. She’s become a morning person, tested over 200 vibrators, and eaten, drunk, and brushed with charcoal — all in the name of journalism. In her free time, she can be found reading self-help books and romance novels, bench-pressing, or pole dancing. Follow her on Instagram.