Sadly, yelling “Hey Siri, did I just come or pee???” after sex won’t give you the answer you want.
The only way to know if you came or peed during sex is to reflect on the feeling.
“The sensation of having an orgasm is actually quite different from the sensation of releasing urine either voluntarily or involuntary,” says Felice Gersh, MD, author of “PCOS SOS: A Gynecologist’s Lifeline To Naturally Restore Your Rhythms, Hormones and Happiness.”
You can also use context clues (scent, taste, and color) to help you figure it out.
Read on for more in-depth analysis on how to tell if you came or peed.
This article is for people who have a vulva and vagina
For people who have a penis, it’s usually easier to tell if you accidentally came or peed. A quick sniff, lick, or touch test will do the trick. That’s because when penis-havers ejaculate, the opening of the bladder closes to prevent urine from splish-splashing around with the semen.
Because urine is a different pH than ejaculate, anatomically the mixing of the two fluids would harm the semen, and therefore make the sperm less viable. The more you know!
For vagina-havers, however, it can be trickier to tell. That’s why for this article, we’ll be focusing specifically on how to tell if you came, squirted, or peed if you have a vagina.
Asking what an orgasm feels like is like asking what happens after death, or which Survivor contestant was the best.
Ask 100 people and you’ll get 100 different answers.
Common descriptions for orgasm include:
- Release of pressure
- Waves of goodness
- Pulse of pleasure
- Tingling ecstasy
- Breath of fresh air after being underwater
It’s common for orgasms to be named by the erogenous zone they emerged from.
For instance, an orgasm that resulted from internal vaginal stimulation might be dubbed a G-spot orgasm or vaginal orgasm, while an orgasm that resulted from chest stimulation could be crowned a nipple orgasm.
It’s true that orgasms can vary in specific sensation and intensity depending on where they originate in the body. But all in all, a general feeling of pleasure is the common denominator amongst them, explains Gersh.
“Physiologically speaking, it’s common for vagina-owners to experience pelvic floor muscle contractions when they orgasm,” she says.
“It’s also common for orgasm to be accompanied by changes in breathing, increased heart rate, and flushing sensation all over the body,” she says, noting that none of these symptoms happen when someone pees.
It depends on who you ask. (Again, all bodies are different).
Typically, when someone is about to squirt, the physiological sensations are similar to the ones they have when they need to pee.
But when someone is actually squirting, the sensation is pretty different from either peeing or orgasming, according to Gersh.
“Usually, however, squirting isn’t quite as full-body as having an orgasm,” she says. “But it’s usually more pleasurable than taking a pee would be.”
Common descriptions of squirting include:
Even if you’ve been holding in your whizz for a multi-hour car ride, you likely wouldn’t describe the sensation as explosive, powerful, or pleasurable.
“Asking what squirting feels like is a little tricky because for some people it happens at the exact same time as orgasming, and therefore is indistinguishable,” says Gersh.
Remind me: What is squirting?
definedas the expulsion of a noticeable amount of fluid from the urethra during sexual arousal.
What the sexy liquid is, exactly, is hotly debated. But the
general consensusamongst sexuality educators and other experts is that the ingredients of squirt are similar to that of pee, but that the two fluids are not the same. (Much like lasagna and bolognese are made up of similar ingredients, but ultimately different).
The main differences lie in the volume and consistency of the fluids. While squirt is typically voluminous and clear in color, ejaculate is a small amount of thick, milky fluids.
(If you need a visual, you can think of squirting as the gush-like release you see in porn).
As such, you might be able to discern if you squirted or ejaculated by eyeing the size of the stain on your sheets, as well as the consistency of the fluid.
If you’re trying to discern whether you just peed, squirted, or ejaculated, this chart may help.
|bitter or acidic
First things first: Breathe.
Sex features a whole slew of bodily fluids! It’s messy! It’s wet!
So if you did pee, no big.
Immediately afterward, let your comfort levels and hygiene preferences dictate your next move.
In general, it’s a good move to throw your sheets in the wash, hop in the shower, and disinfect any sex toys you used.
Whether you tell your partner is up to you. You are not obligated to tell your partner! If you tell them, it’s because you’re sharing a bit more info about what that sexperience was like for you.
You could say:
- “That felt different than usual! I think I may have peed a little bit. Did you notice anything different in how my body was responding?”
- “Baby, can you get out of bed for a second? I peed a little bit during sex so I want to toss these blankets into the wash.”
Sharing this kind of intel with your partner is vulnerable. But how your partner responds will tell you a lot about their suitability as a long-term partner. No lover who deserves you will make you feel bad about anything your body did during sex!
If you peed during sex once or twice, there’s no need to ring the alarm.
But if peeing during sex becomes a regular thing, Heather Jeffcoat, a doctor of physical therapy who specializes in sexual dysfunction, pain, and incontinence, and author of “Sex Without Pain: A Self-Treatment Guide to the Sex Life You Deserve” recommends talking with a healthcare professional.
Peeing regularly during sex is known as coital incontinence. It could be a symptom of pelvic floor dysfunction, urethral dysfunction, or another form of incontinence, such as stress incontinence and mixed incontinence.
In other words, with the proper treatment plan, you may be able to stop peeing while you play!
To be clear: Here, we’re talking about peeing accidentally during sex. Peeing intentionally during sex (AKA enjoying “watersports”) is different, and does not call for medical intervention.
There are so many different types of fluids that the vagina and vulva release — ejaculate, squirt, come, pee, and lubricant, to name just a few.
So, it’s common for people who have a vulva and vagina to want to understand which fluids they’re releasing and when.
But before you work hard to find the answer, make sure it’s general interest or health-mindedness — not shame — that is fueling your investigation.
As Gersh puts it, “some people are so ashamed by what their body does or doesn’t do during sex that they aren’t able to experience pleasure.” And pleasure, Darling, is your birthright.
Gabrielle Kassel is a New York-based sex and wellness writer and CrossFit Level 1 Trainer. She’s become a morning person, tested over 200 vibrators, and eaten, drunk, and brushed with charcoal — all in the name of journalism. In her free time, she can be found reading self-help books and romance novels, bench-pressing, or pole dancing. Follow her on Instagram.