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“Hands-free orgasms refer to any kind of orgasm that didn’t involve your own hands,” says certified sex coach Gigi Engle, Womanizer sexpert and the author of “All The F*cking Mistakes: A Guide to Sex, Love, and Life.”

It usually doesn’t refer to orgasms that came with the help of your partner’s hands, oral stimulation, or a hand-held toy.

But, she says, “If you consider it ‘hands-free,’ it is.”

After all, there’s no gatekeeper on orgasms and what qualifies as hands-on versus hands-off.

That’s one option! But it can also (ahem) come from your partner’s other body parts.

Or any of these (among other) sextivities:

  • humping and grinding
  • vaginal or anal penetrative play (with anything other than a hand or finger)
  • wearable sex toys
  • dirty talk
  • orgasmic breathing or erotic hypnosis
  • Kegels and muscle clenching

“Some people can have not only hands-free orgasms, but touch-free orgasms,” says Searah Deysach, longtime sex educator and owner of Early to Bed.

If that sounds unfathomable, consider this:

“Orgasms happen in the brain before they happen in the genitals,” says Carol Queen, PhD, sexologist for Good Vibrations and curator of the Antique Vibrator Museum. “So, sometimes, orgasms happen just in the brain.”

Intrigued? Learn about orgasmic breathing and erotic hypnosis below.

Orgasmic breathing

Orgasmic breathing entails channeling your inner erotic energy.

“It’s similar to the deep diaphragmatic breathing used in some forms of meditation and yoga, and involves taking deep, intentional breaths,” Deysach explains.

Tantra expert and certified sexologist Barbara Carrellas made an MP3 you can buy that teaches you how to do it.

“While not everyone will find breath orgasms possible, even with practice, it is certainly worth giving a try,” Deysach says.

If you want to learn more about orgasmic breathing, Carrella’s book “Urban Tantra: Sacred Sex For the Twenty-First Century” is a good resource.

Erotic hypnosis

“Erotic hypnosis is the practice of descending into your subconscious to the point where the entire outside world ceases to exist,” explains tantra expert Karen Botha with Sensual Massage in Romford, Essex.

“This allows you to explore your deepest fantasies and enjoy the physical effects of this on your body — without ever being touched,” she says.

Basically, it’s a guided meditation that helps you relax so much that you’re able to think your way into orgasm. Thrilling!

To try it, Engle says it’s as simple as Googling “erotic hypnosis” and following along with one of the videos.

Now that a subtle spank and stroke of the arm are off-limits, how the heck do you start?

Take off the pressure

You aren’t doing this to check off some item on an orgasm bucket list.

You’re doing it because it’s an experiment with new pleasures and sensations, Deysach says.

Or to give your body a break from physical touch.

Or if physically stimulating yourself isn’t possible for you.

Your objective here isn’t necessarily to orgasm. It’s to explore new types of pleasure!

Make a game plan

Whether you’re experimenting alone or with a partner, decide how you want to explore hands-free orgasms.

Because you’ll likely be dappling with something new, you’ll need to discuss boundaries, hard limits, and maybe come up with a safe word.

Get aroused

“It’s hard to have an orgasm at all (under most circumstances) without arousal,” Queen says.

Time to call on your go-to turn-on techniques!

“Watch a sexy video, read something smutty, dirty talk with your partner, or use your mind to fantasize,” Deysach says.

“Being aroused will flood your bits with blood, making them more sensitive and reactive to whatever technique you’re using,” she adds.

Experiment!

When you’re (both) ready, bring in the hands-free technique you’ve decided to try.

Be patient

“You may find that a hands-free technique means the orgasm takes longer to happen (or that orgasm doesn’t happen at all), and that’s totally fine and normal,” Deysach says. “Enjoy the feelings along the way.”

Bring in your hands if you want

“The number one thing that kills erotic energy is doing the same thing over and over,” Engle says. “So, experimenting with hands-free pleasure can be a fun way to update your dating life.”

But, she says — and this is important! — exploring new techniques is supposed to be fun and pleasureful.

If it stops being fun or starts being emotionally, mentally, or physically uncomfortable, there’s no shame in bringing in your hands for backup.

“It’s generally easier to explore new sensations and sexual experiences [solo] before trying them with a partner,” Engle says.

Here’s how.

Hop in the bath or shower

“Water can be a great stimulator for people,” Deysach says.

Turn on the water, make sure it isn’t too hot, then position your bod (or the head) so the water hits you just so. Stay put until you’re hit with a wave of pleasure.

For those with a vagina, just be sure to avoid spraying water directly into your vagina to avoid messing up your pH.

Another option: Attach the Waterslyde water diverter (shop here) to the faucet then lounge, legs-spread under the stream.

Set yourself up for a sleep orgasm

Yup, it’s possible to O while you Zzz.

Generally, sleep orgasms are seen as something the sleeper doesn’t have much control over.

But, according to Engle, “There’s reason to believe that if you have sex on the brain when you go to bed, or haven’t climaxed in your waking hours, they’re more likely to happen.”

Try the following steps:

  1. Watch porn, listen to audio erotica, or sext/dirty talk your partner before bedtime.
  2. Touch yourself, but don’t let yourself climax.
  3. Go to sleep immediately after.

“There’s no guarantee you’ll have a sexy dream or nocturnal emission,” Engle says.

But if worse comes to worst, you can have an incredible session in the morning when you wake up!

Work out

Specifically, work out your core.

“For some people, ab exercises like hollow rocks, crunches, and leg lifts can create the same physiological response as orgasm,” Queen explains. This is known as a “coregasm.”

That’s because when you’re doing core exercises, you’re also contracting and relaxing your pelvic floor. And an orgasm is essentially just a bunch of pelvic floor contractions. Fun!

Interested in trying? Queen recommends sexologist Debby Herbenick’s book “The Coregasm Workout: The Revolutionary Method for Better Sex Through Exercise.”

Try a sex toy mount

Rather than holding your vibrator while you use it, there are pillows you can buy that do the “holding” for you!

For vulva owners, Queen recommends the Liberator Wanda toy mount (shop here) or the Liberator Axis Hitachi toy mount (shop here).

“You can prop your wand vibrator inside of them, then mount the pillow and hump the toy while on your stomach,” she says.

If you have a penis and enjoy using a masturbation sleeve, you might try the Fleshlight Motion by Liberator Top Dog (shop here). It lets you use your fave Fleshlight product in the doggy style position.

Fair warning: These mounts are pricey. So try MacGyvering a makeshift mount from two (or four) firm pillows before handing over your CC number.

Get saucy with a suction cup dildo

If you enjoy penetration, get a medical-grade silicone dildo with a suction cup at the end, like the Lovehoney curved silicone suction cup dildo (shop here).

Suction it on the edge of the tub, a tile wall, dining room chair, or any other place it’ll suction. Then ride it!

But don’t be stubborn. Before you start getting freaky with the toy, use your hand to coat it (and your bod) with some water-based lube.

Hump some furniture…

“Lean against a stable sofa or something else where you can add pressure to the genital area,” Queen suggests. “Thrust against it and see where that goes.”

“If you’d rather lie down for this, position a pillow between your legs. Firmer is probably better,” she adds.

Maybe your boo just got a mani. Or you’re in a cast.

Whatever the reason, if one, both, or all of you can’t use your hands, there are still manyyy fun ways for you to get it on together.

Bump and grind

Bring it back to your high school days and have a humpathon.

“Have your partner rub their body and bits against your leg, crotch, knee, and back,” Queen says. “The friction and pleasure can get you towards orgasm.”

While they do, if you’re face-to-face, kiss them. If they consent, you can also bite or lick their neck, moan in their ear, or any other hands-free move you’d bring in to orgasm.

While this can be done with no, some, or all clothes, remember that once clothes start coming off, pregnancy and STI transmission may be a risk.

Grab handcuffs or a sex toy

If you and your partner are turned on by power play, try this:

Use cuffs, rope, or a scarf to tie your partner’s hands together — either in front of their body, behind their back, or over their head.

Then, grab your partner’s favorite sex toy and some lube, and rest the toy against them until they’re squirming, screaming, or even squirting.

Sure, you might have to use your hands a little bit. But your partner is hands-free, so have fun with it!

Experiment with BDSM

If you and your boo have always been interested in trying BDSM, this info may convince you to finally give it a whirl:

“In BDSM, there are many nongenital and hands-free routes to pleasure that some players can even orgasm from,” Queen says.

Newbie kinksters will have to do some serious research before trying it for real.

But here are a few kinky ideas you might look into:

  • Tie your partner down, then experiment with temperature play by kissing them with ice or using hot wax.
  • Handcuff your partner facedown to the bed, and paddle or spank them.
  • Verbally degrade or humiliate your partner while using your knee or knuckles to tease them.

“Your partner will have to consent and enjoy the sensation that you’re delivering them for this to be a safe and effective route to hands-free orgasm,” Queen reminds us.

Make sure you decide what type of play you’ll engage in ahead of time.

Bring in a wearable toy!

Not all sex toys need to be held.

“Many toys are shaped so that you don’t have to use your hands when you use them, and can use your hands to do something else,” Deysach says.

The below chart can help you figure out what hands-free toy is best for you.

If you enjoy…GetOur recommendation to buy
anal penetration and a feeling of fullnessa butt plugDoc Johnson Tango plug
being rimmeda vibrating butt plug b-Vibe rimming plug
nipple stimulationnipple clamps Unbound nipple clamp
pinpointed clitoral stimulationclit clampUnbound clit clamp
prolonged erectionscock ringLovehoney Dominix Deluxe stainless steel donut cock ring
perineum stimulationvibrating cock ringLelo Tor 2
strap-on sexdouble-ended dildoFun Factory ShareVibe
simultaneous G-spot and clit stimulationrabbit vibratorCalExotics Jack Rabbit

Try a remote-controlled vibrator

If you want your partner to do more than help get the toy in place, you might consider a wearable vibrator, like the:

Gear up, then hand over control (literally) to your partner to experiment with a hands-free orgasm at home or on the go.

Try scissoring!

Similar to grinding or humping, “scissoring involves rubbing your bits together,” Deysach says. The goal here is friction.

Historically, the word “scissoring” has been used to refer to two vulva owners, but folks with any genital configuration can give it a whirl!

Just remember: Once your skivvies come off, STIs and pregnancy may be a risk. A barrier method, like dental dams, is recommended for safer sex.

Nope! Not everyone can orgasm with hands. And not everyone can orgasm without hands.

In fact, according to Queen, only a small percentage will be able to.

Still, she says, almost anyone can have hands-free pleasure. True that!

Experimenting with hands-free stimulation — in your partnered or solo sex life — is just another sexy way to play with pleasure.

You may come while dipping your toe into hands-free orgasms. Or you may not!

But as Engle says, “Enjoy the exploration. That’s what hands-free pleasure — and all sexuality, for that matter — should be about.”


Gabrielle Kassel is a New York–based sex and wellness writer and CrossFit Level 1 Trainer. She’s become a morning person, tested over 200 vibrators, and eaten, drunk, and brushed with charcoal — all in the name of journalism. In her free time, she can be found reading self-help books and romance novels, bench-pressing, or pole dancing. Follow her on Instagram.