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Grapefruiting is the act of giving a blow job with the aid of a hollowed-out grapefruit that you run up and down the shaft while sucking on the head.
If you’re asking if grapefruiting is real, then you probably haven’t seen “Girls Trip” — the film that helped make grapefruiting a thing and may or may not have been responsible for a shortage of grapefruits in your local produce department.
Seems so, though it’s impossible to know just how many people have actually tried this. It’s not like studies have been done on it… yet.
Well, until the movie “Girls Trip” came out, sexpert Auntie Angel was believed to hold the honor.
Rumor has it she gave an impressive grapefruit beej demo to a bridal party in 2002 and started teaching classes on it shortly thereafter.
In 2012, she put out a DVD called “Angie’s Fellatio Secrets.” Five million views later and poof — she was The Grapefruit Lady.
Then “Girls Trip” came out and actress/comedian Tiffany Haddish claimed she was the originator of this fruity form of fellatio and had been sharing the technique for years on stage.
A BJ that also feels like you’re having sex with an incredibly wet vagina at the same time, apparently.
The worst that could happen is that one of you has a citrus allergy, in which case contact with the grapefruit could trigger an allergic reaction that can range from mild to severe.
FYI: You can develop a citrus allergy later in life, even after years of eating the fruit with no issues. Citrus allergies typically develop in the teens or twenties.
An allergic reaction can happen from consuming some of the grapefruit or its juice while giving head. The result would be intense itching and tingling of your lips, tongue, or throat.
Skin contact with the peel could also cause contact dermatitis, which is a whole other fresh hell. The symptoms, which could affect the skin on the hands, face, or — ouch — the penis, include burning, itching, swelling, and possibly blistering.
Fortunately, citrus allergies are pretty rare — but it’s still worth considering before busting out the grapefruit.
Another not as serious, but still kinda ouchy risk of performing oral with a grapefruit is getting juice in a break in the skin or in the eye.
If this happens, you can bet your basket of grapefruits that it’s going to sting and burn like a MOFO. And speaking of burning, the receiver can expect some major burn and irritation if juice makes its way into the urethra.
We’re not done. The giver could also end up with a scratchy throat from sucking back all that acidic juice.
And finally, grapefruit is known to
If you take meds, ask a pharmacist about grapefruit interactions.
A grapefruit is probably the best sized fruit in the citrus family for this purpose. A large navel orange could probably work, too.
The consensus seems to be that ruby red grapefruits are the way to go because they’re the sweetest type.
It’s your mouth, though. So, if you’re cool with a bitter taste then any grapefruit or supersized orange will do.
You’d think, right? But nope. Some prep work is needed so you’ll need to plan ahead.
The grapefruit should be unpeeled and room temperature or even a little warm.
Using one straight from the fridge will NOT go over well with the person on the receiving end. (Can you say shrinkage?)
Here’s a step-by-step guide to grapefruiting prep:
- Wash the grapefruit thoroughly under lukewarm water.
- Roll the grapefruit around against a hard surface for a minute or so to loosen things up and make the flesh as fleshy and juicy as can be.
- Use a sharp knife to carefully slice off both navel ends of the fruit, keeping the slices thin.
- Cut a hole in the fleshy center of the fruit big enough to accommodate the receiver’s penis.
- Voila — your fruit is officially fellatio friendly!
If you’ve done your grapefruiting homework, you’ve probably come across the tip to surprise your partner by blindfolding them first.
So before you @ us for forgetting this step, know that we’re purposely leaving it out.
While we love a good surprise, it’s not OK to spring a sexual act on someone unless it’s a consensual “surprise” that’s been previously discussed.
If they consent to being surprised, then have at it.
Here’s how to give a grapefruit BJ:
- Get them hard. Your partner’s penis needs to be nice and hard before you get out the grapefruit. Any kind of foreplay goes as long as it turns them on. You can try a hand job or skip the penis altogether and touch and lick their other erogenous zones.
- Slip a condom on ‘em. A condom can help minimize any potential risks, like irritation or stinging. It’ll also reduce the risk of STI transmission. In keeping with the fruity theme, you can use fruit-flavored condoms. Nom nom!
- Slip the grapefruit on and go to town. Slide the grapefruit over their cock and start twisting that fruit up and down the shaft while you work the head with your mouth. Alternate between sucking it, swirling your tongue around it, and flicking their frenulum, all while sliding the grapefruit snuggly up and down the shaft. Keep at it ’til they climax.
- Clean up. This step is super important if you’re planning to transition to penetration. You do NOT want acidic grapefruit juice inside your vagina or anus. Oh, the burning! The horror!
Be gentle, but thorough. You want to get any remaining juice or pulp off their penis and the surrounding area — not take skin off.
You can use a wet wash cloth or gentle wipes, or head to the washroom for a quick rinse or shower. Pat dry and you’re good to go.
We know it’s easier said than done when something feels like it’s on fire, but stop what you’re doing and calmly assess the situation.
If there’s stinging or burning involved on the skin or in the eyes, rinse or flush with cold water.
Mild redness and irritation is likely to clear up on its own after a day or two. See a doctor or other healthcare provider if it doesn’t or if it gets worse.
Pain, burning, or stinging affecting the eye or the penis is going to require a visit to a doctor.
Signs of a severe allergic reaction include:
- swelling of the mouth or throat
- trouble breathing
Sure, it might get you some giggles, but grapefruiting can be messy and a little risky if you’re not careful.
If you want to mix it up the next time you go down, there are other ways to do it without going the fruit route.
Adrienne Santos-Longhurst is a freelance writer and author who has written extensively on all things health and lifestyle for more than a decade. When she’s not holed-up in her writing shed researching an article or off interviewing health professionals, she can be found frolicking around her beach town with husband and dogs in tow or splashing about the lake trying to master the stand-up paddle board.