So… you want to know how often you should self-pleasure?
The short answer: as much as you want to. (Yes, seriously.)
As long as masturbation feels good, it’s enjoyable to you (i.e., you’re not experiencing any pain), and your habits aren’t getting in the way of other priorities (like work or social engagements), then you can do it as much or as little as you want to.
That’s the fun part: Masturbation is all about what you want and what you like. What anyone else thinks simply doesn’t matter.
Everyone’s different, so there really isn’t a ‘normal’ amount of masturbation. How much you masturbate depends on your preferences.
However, research does give us some general trends among men and women.
You’ll notice that the language used to share stats and other data points is pretty binary, fluctuating between the use of “male” and “female” or “men” and “women.”
Although we typically avoid language like this, specificity is key when reporting on research participants and clinical findings.
Unfortunately, the studies and surveys below didn’t report data on, or include, participants who were transgender, nonbinary, gender nonconforming, genderqueer, agender, or genderless.
It’s something almost everyone does at some point
According to a
An
Most people do it regularly
In a 2012 study of Portuguese women, approximately 29 percent reported masturbating within the past month.
In 2017, researchers
Meanwhile, a
Most German women reported still masturbating frequently while they were in a relationship, too.
Some people do it together
The
A 2016 survey by adult retailer TENGA found that nearly 25 percent of U.S. millennials have masturbated with a partner over technology.
Think: over the phone, in a video call, or via another virtual technique.
Lots of people use sex toys to masturbate
The results of TENGA’s 2016 survey also revealed that people who lived on the West Coast were the most likely to own a sex toy, with 34 percent of participants owning at least one.
Thirty percent of survey respondents in the South owned at least one sex toy, with folks in the Midwest and Northeast trailing slightly at 29 percent.
Of those people with a sex toy, 70 percent said it improved their masturbation experience.
Most people with vulvas do it for the orgasm
Approximately 50 percent of German women in the
Roughly 7 percent reported never experiencing an orgasm during masturbation.
The study’s participants reported that other reasons they masturbated included stress relief, sexual desire, and relaxation.
Most participants said they fantasized about a partner.
Some people have a higher libido, causing them to want to experience a sexual release more often.
Others have a lower libido, so they might not want to masturbate or have partner sex very often.
In fact, some people don’t want to masturbate at all — and that’s OK, too.
Your libido can also change over time. Age, relationship status, mental health, physical health, hormones, and medications can all impact it — causing you to want more or less masturbation.
For example,
This could get in the way of pleasurable masturbation.
On average, cisgender men masturbate more frequently than cisgender women. This is called the “masturbation gap.”
Several studies have confirmed this gap.
A 2001 research review found that men and boys are more likely to masturbate — and do so more frequently — than women and girls.
Per the
This same study found about 8 percent of men had never masturbated in their lifetime. For women, that number was around 21 percent.
This gap is thought to be the result of stigma and societal norms.
According to pioneering sexual health researchers Masters and Johnson, folks with male anatomy and folks with female anatomy experience the same sexual response cycle.
However, as a result of gender roles and societal norms, people who have female anatomy are more likely to feel “dirty” or a sense of shame for masturbating.
For example, in a small 2011 study of college students, most women participants reported struggling with the contradiction between stigma and pleasure or with accepting that masturbation was normal.
Frequent masturbation isn’t a problem unless it starts to affect other aspects of your life.
If you’re missing work or unable to fulfill other responsibilities as a result of your time spent self-pleasuring, you might be compulsively masturbating.
Compulsive masturbation can harm your relationships, lower your productivity, and have negative impacts on your overall well-being.
If you’re worried you’re masturbating too much, talk with a doctor, psychologist, or sex therapist. They can help you figure out why this is happening and help you find a way to move forward.
The good news is: With masturbation, you’re in the driver’s seat. You get to determine how much or how little you masturbate.
If you want to masturbate more
Try scheduling some “me time.” For example, some people like to masturbate before bed to help them relax after a long day.
Others like doing it in the shower or bath. In fact, some people like gently aiming the stream from a shower head on their clitoris for stimulation.
You can also watch a sexy video or read a steamy book to help you get in the mood.
It can also help to set the mood: Turn down the lights, light a few candles, and listen to some relaxing music.
If you want to masturbate less
If you want to cut back on how often you masturbate, opt for a different form of entertainment or stimulation the next time you have the urge.
Depending on what you enjoy, this might include:
- going for a walk or run
- working out at the gym
- spending time with friends
- watching a movie
- writing in a journal
- baking or cooking
If that doesn’t work, and you’re worried about your ability to stop, reach out to a healthcare professional.
Talk therapy can help, as can certain medications and support groups for compulsive sexual behavior.
Masturbation is a safe and easy way to feel good. It can’t get you pregnant, and it doesn’t come with any major side effects.
In fact, research and anecdotal reports suggest masturbation might help you:
- relax
- relieve pain
- sleep better
- boost your mood
- gain a better understanding of your turn-ons
- increase sexual desire and sensitivity
- have better partner sex
Consider different kinds of masturbation. Explore clitoral, vaginal, and anal play — or even stimulate a combination of different erogenous zones.
Don’t rush. There’s no reason to jump to the end. Make sure you have the time to truly explore yourself.
Eliminate distractions. Dim the lights, mute your phone, and just focus on yourself.
Don’t forget the lube. Lube can help make things go, well, more smoothly.
Turn on an adult movie or read an erotic book. It can help turn up the heat and turn you on before you even start touching yourself.
Use a sex toy. Vibrators and dildos, just to name a few options, can make things more fun and introduce you to new sensations.
If you’re feeling ashamed, try reminding yourself that masturbation is normal. Even if you don’t talk or hear about it much, almost everyone does it.
Also remind yourself that no one has to know you’re masturbating or how often you do it. This is something you can do alone and for your own enjoyment.
And if you just aren’t feeling it, it’s absolutely OK to stop. You don’t have to do anything you don’t want to do. You can always come back to it later if you decide you want to.
Masturbation is a healthy activity that has no side effects and lots of benefits (hello, pleasure and relaxation).
And there’s no such thing as a ‘normal amount’ — how often you masturbate is up to you. So do it as much (or as little) as you want.
Simone M. Scully is a writer who loves writing about all things health and science. Find Simone on her website, Facebook, and Twitter.