A Beginner’s Guide to Anal Fingering

Like taking off your shoes before you walk into someone’s house or putting down a coffee before heading into a museum, there are some rules of the trade you need to know about before sticking a finger in a butt.

Washing your hands is a must

The last thing you want to do is introduce (more) bacteria into the backside and risk infection.

Clipping your nails ahead of time is also crucial

The skin in and around the anus is thin and prone to tearing even without going at it with sharp, potentially stabby nails.

Clip your nails and file down rough or jagged edges before sending your fingers to B-Town.

Everyone has a smell — so will your fingers

Even if your butt is so fresh and so clean clean, it’ll still have a smell. Everyone has their own unique essence so don’t fret it.

If you get a whiff of something that truly offends YOUR senses, just wash the area with mild soap and water or with body-safe wipes.

Poop is always possible, so try not to panic

First, poop is stored higher up in the rectum and rarely makes an appearance during anal play, so try not to get too hung up on it.

Next, since you’re stimulating a lot of the same nerves back there, you might feel like you’re going to poop, but you’re not. Promise.

If some poop does make a cameo, it’s NBD and nothing some soap and water or a wipe won’t fix.

Avoid going from back to front at all costs

Just like wiping your bum, you want to avoid going from back to front — as in bum to genitals — to prevent fecal bacteria from getting into your urethra and causing a urinary tract infection (UTI).

If you decide to share some love with your V or P after fingering your anus, wash your hands first.

Anal play isn’t as taboo as it once was, and more people are open to experimenting with this pleasure spot than ever. Still, anal sex of any kind remains a sensitive topic for some, so a conversation needs to happen outside the bedroom first.

Yes, we said *outside* the bedroom, as in not during sexy time, which can muddy judgment and perception. And you absolutely NEVER want to just go for it by knocking on someone’s backdoor or guiding their hands to yours without clear communication and consent first.

To bring it up, simply let your partner(s) know that you think anal fingering could feel really good and want to know if this is something they’re open to trying.

Be sure to:

• Talk in “we” rather than “I.” Sex isn’t just about you, after all.
• Be clear about who would be doing the fingering/receiving.
• Accept that a partner may say no and don’t try to change their mind.
• Be clear that anal fingering doesn’t automatically = penis-in-anus or any other sex act. That should be a separate convo.

Some prep is a must to make the experience safer and comfortable for all involved.

If you’re the receiver

If you’ll be on the receiving end of anal fingering, you’ll want to do this first:

• Go to the bathroom beforehand so you don’t have to worry about it during your rear end rendezvous.
• Take a shower or wash your butt with water and mild soap.
• Get relaxed and in the mood with a warm bath, masturbation (solo or with your partner), or other before play.
• Have lube on hand and either apply it to your butthole or have your partner do it for you.

If you’re the giver

• Check your nails for dirt and jagged edges, and tend to them as needed so your nails are clean and smooth.
• Wash your hands thoroughly before going in.
• Apply a generous amount of lube to your finger and your partner’s anus. Keep it handy to reapply as needed during play.
• Ask your partner how you can help them relax and get ready for your digit(s).

Here are some tips and tricks that’ll make anal fingering and any other type of butt play a better experience all around:

• The more lube the better when it comes to butt play, so apply it liberally and reapply as you play.
• Water-based lube is fine, but silicone lube is better for butt play because it’s thicker and longer-lasting.
• Put down a dark towel or waterproof blanket to keep your sheets clean and hide any poop that might (but probably not!) make an appearance.
• If you’re really hung up on the poop thing, you could use an anal douche beforehand to clean things out.
• You can make cleanup a breeze by wearing a latex glove or finger cot and tossing it after.

Some discomfort is normal if your anus isn’t used to being penetrated. In this situation, try adding more lube or changing technique or position.

If that doesn’t work or it’s really uncomfortable, stop. Anal fingering should be pleasurable, so don’t try to force it. It might not be a fit for your body, so listen to the signs that your anus is giving you!

Here are some anal fingering positions that can be modified to work solo or with a partner.

Bottom on back

1. The person being fingered lies on their back.
2. They bring their knees up to their chest.
3. They place a pillow under their lower back to raise their hips.
4. They reach down to finger themselves or have their partner sit or kneel in front and finger them.

Facedown

1. The person being fingered lies facedown on the bed.
2. They can rest their arm on their back and reach down to finger their anus or have their partner lie or sit next to them and finger them.

Doggy style

• The receiver gets on all fours.
• They can reach around and pleasure themselves or their partner can sit or kneel behind to finger them.

Anal fingering can be oh-so-much more than just some in-out action! Try these techniques to take derriere diddling to another level.

If you or a partner has a prostate

• Come hither: Slide the index finger inside the anus and curl your finger toward the bellybutton in a “come here” motion. Keep repeating the motion, gradually increasing your speed as the pleasure builds.
• Circling: Insert your finger and gently run the pad of your finger all around the perimeter of the prostate. Circle it crosswise for a few, then move to counterclockwise, and repeat. Change the pressure and speed to find the combo that feels best.
• The human vibrator: Press the pad of your finger against the P-spot and use a short and fast vibrator-like motion. Go side to side or up and down, as long as you keep the motion quick and vibe-like.

If you or a partner don’t have a prostate

• Come hither: Insert the index finger and curl it towards the bellybutton and move it in a “come here” motion over and over. Gradually increase the speed and pressure as desired.
• Circling: Rather than circling the prostate, put light pressure on the front wall of the rectum and move your finger in a circular motion over the tissue or A-spot. Increase your speed and pressure allowing the pleasure to build up.
• Just the tip: The anus is chock-full of delightful nerve endings on the outside and inside, so just the tip of a finger can feel fant-ass-tic. Apply just enough pressure to push just past the surface. Slowly twist the fingertip one way and then the other, over and over.

If you or a partner want additional stimulation

• Touch those erogenous zones: Show the other erogenous zones some simultaneous love to maximize pleasure. This can involve rubbing the clit, fingering the V, giving a hand job, or just caressing and kissing any skin within reach while fingering.
• Use your tongue: You can use your tongue for some taint teasin’ while fingering their anus or start off an anal fingering sesh by licking their anus. Not quite ready for rimming? Lick, kiss, or lightly bite their butt cheeks while fingering their hole.

A finger vibe or bullet vibe comes in handy when you’re getting hands-y because they’re easy to maneuver over other parts and small enough to target small pleasure spots like the perineum, clit, and nipples.

To prep your butt for fingering or build up to something bigger like a butt plug, penis, or fist, an anal dilator kit is fun and functional.

Hands-free toys like a wearable vibe or cock ring are also an easy way to ramp-up pleasure while enjoying anal fingering.

Post-anal fingering cleanup and aftercare doesn’t have to be a big to-do. Wash your hands and any toys used with warm water and soap, letting the toys air dry.

Throw out any barrier used. If you put down a protective blanket or towel, put it in the wash and do the same with any other soiled clothing or bedding.

Your butt muscles and anus might be a little tender after. Soaking in a warm Epsom salt bath can help.

Anal fingering is a fun time whether you do it solo or with someone else. An added bonus: It has the potential lead to a sheet-twisting anal orgasm!

Adrienne Santos-Longhurst is a Canada-based freelance writer and author who has written extensively on all things health and lifestyle for more than a decade. When she’s not holed-up in her writing shed researching an article or off interviewing health professionals, she can be found frolicking around her beach town with husband and dogs in tow or splashing about the lake trying to master the stand-up paddle board.