Managing diabetes is a full-time job, but with a little bit of humor (and plenty of supplies), you can take it all in stride. Here are 29 things only a person living with diabetes would understand.
1. Every paper cut is an opportunity to test your blood sugar.
2. You have an entire drawer, dresser, or closet devoted to diabetes supplies.
3. You have hundreds of lancets and only a few test strips. But on the plus side, your health insurance company is willing to pay for more lancets!
4. When it’s time to test, all you have to do is squeeze your finger.
5. The phrase ‘once in a blue moon’ is a reminder that it’s time to change your lancet.
6. You hesitate to wear white in case you prick your finger and hit a ‘gusher.’
7. Your fingers appear to spell something in Braille.
8. Being high means something completely different to you than it does to most people.
9. You can calculate the carbohydrate total of every meal in your head without breaking a sweat.
10. You should test your blood sugar 6 times a day, but insurance only approved you for 1 strip a week.
11. You can put a mathematician to shame: insulin on board, carb factors, insulin to carb ratio, no problem!
12. Well-meaning friends have offered you every diabetes remedy under the sun, from cinnamon to birdseed milk.
13. You’ve heard, ‘But you don’t look like a diabetic!’
14. You’re familiar with all the diabetes horror stories of the relatives of anyone you’ve ever met.
15. You’ve heard, ‘You can’t eat that!’ too many times.
16. Everyone wants to know where you got your cool pager.
17. You find used test strips in your toothpaste drawer but don’t know how they got there.
18. You have a pile of diabetes cookbooks holding up your sofa.
19. You own 15 glucose meters, but you only use 1.
20. CSI would have a very hard time ‘investigating the scene’ at your house.
21. You have 2 cases of juice boxes at home, and none of them are for your kids.
22. You have to remind yourself that it isn’t polite to punch people who say ‘diabeetus’ in the face.
23. The pharmacy is number 1 on your speed dial, and you’re on a first name basis with the pharmacist.
24. People often say, ‘You can eat it, it’s sugar-free!’ about something that’s loaded with carbohydrates.
25. Everyone asks you what to do about their ‘noncompliant’ diabetic spouse.
26. You read every article that promises ways to improve your glucose level, but they all end up being about prevention instead.
27. According to TV commercials, it’s a good thing you’re young, because only old people get diabetes.
28. There’s never been any butter in your refrigerator’s butter compartment — it’s used for storing insulin.
29. To lick or to wipe? That is the question.