Receiving an Alzheimer’s diagnosis is already a lot to process. Figuring out how to share this diagnosis with loved ones may cause added stress. Here’s what can help.

If you’ve recently received an early stage Alzheimer’s diagnosis, you may be feeling a wide range of emotions, anywhere from grief and powerlessness to fear and anger.

You might also be feeling apprehensive about sharing this news with your loved ones, as managing your own emotions about the diagnosis may already feel overwhelming enough. It’s also understandable if your instinct is to conceal this information in order to protect your loved ones and prevent them from worrying about you.

Sharing your diagnosis, however, is an important first step in the treatment process. Although disclosing your Alzheimer’s diagnosis with loved ones may feel scary, it can also help you process your feelings and get the support you need.

Here are some tips for how and when to share your diagnosis with your friends and family.

If sharing your early onset Alzheimer’s diagnosis feels daunting to you, these tips may help you determine where to begin.

Start with telling one person

The idea of telling your entire family all at once about your Alzheimer’s diagnosis may feel like too much. Instead, it might help to start by telling one person. This can be your spouse or a trusted friend, for instance.

Ideally, it’s someone you trust to receive this new information well and who can support you in telling other loved ones in the future. It can be helpful to have someone else in the room, for instance, when you share your diagnosis with the people who may be the most emotional, such as your children.

Be as honest as you can

Although it’s natural to want to shield your loved ones from the realities of Alzheimer’s, it’s also important to be honest so that you feel as supported as possible.

Research has found that depression and anxiety are common reactions to an Alzheimer’s diagnosis, so engaging in a transparent conversation with the people in your life who want to support you may make a significant difference.

Try to be honest about how you’re coping, what you know about your diagnosis and any symptoms you may already be experiencing. It’s understandable if you want to put on a brave face, but honesty will likely serve you and your family best in the long term.

Go at your own pace

Remember, it’s up to you when you tell your loved ones about your diagnosis. For immediate family, you may decide to tell them first, and with friends, you may decide to space it out so that you don’t have to have the same conversation over and over again all at once.

Whatever you decide to do, that’s OK. Consider your needs and which loved ones you feel most comfortable sharing the news with first. There’s no one right way to share heavy news, so do what supports you and trust that the people in your life will respect your pace.

It’s also OK if you share the diagnosis but tell your loved ones that you aren’t ready to discuss it further — you just want them to know what’s going on.

Be prepared to answer questions

Try to remember that while you may have had time to process the diagnosis and ask your questions to your doctor, your loved ones are hearing the news for the first time and may know very little about Alzheimer’s disease.

Be prepared to answer questions about your diagnosis and what they can expect with progression. It’s OK and expected if you don’t have all the answers, but it can help to anticipate some of the questions your loved ones may have and provide as many direct answers as you can.

Direct your loved ones to resources

Although it may help to have information on Alzheimer’s as it relates to its progression, symptoms, and treatment, it’s also important not to put all of the burden on yourself to educate your loved ones.

Instead, it can help to direct your loved ones to Alzheimer’s resources, such as the Alzheimer’s Association and Alzheimer’s Foundation of America, for more information.

Tell loved ones what they can do to help

It’s likely your loved ones will want to know what they can do to support you. Try to come up with actionable support, such as assistance with transportation, meals, or financial planning. You may need more simple assistance in the beginning, such as help with remembering appointments or people’s names at social events.

Consider which of your loved ones would be most helpful for each task, and try to be as specific as possible. A new diagnosis can cause feelings of uncertainty, so having a plan and a support team can help reduce stress and anxiety.

You can expect a wide range of reactions to your disclosure of your Alzheimer’s diagnosis.

Possible responses include:

  • crying
  • asking lots of questions
  • going into planning mode
  • becoming quiet
  • hugging and hand-holding
  • providing words of encouragement and comfort

If you’re afraid of the response you’re going to receive, it may help to let your loved ones know what you need in that moment. Sharing that you would like everyone to remain calm during the conversation, for instance, may help.

If you’re feeling uncomfortable or overwhelmed at the thought of sharing your Alzheimer’s diagnosis with your loved ones, you’re not alone. The early stages can feel uncertain, and you may not want any added stress by worrying about your loved ones’ reactions and having to answer the same questions over and over again.

For this reason, it’s important to share your diagnosis at a pace you feel comfortable with and in a way that will best support your emotional needs. It can help to be prepared to answer questions and to be as honest as possible but also remember that it’s not your job to educate your loved ones on Alzheimer’s by yourself.