While it‘s not a clinical term, “waiting mode” is a common symptom reported by those with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD). If it’s interfering with your life, working with a therapist can help.

“Waiting mode” is a term used for the phenomenon in which those with ADHD are unable to do anything productive in the hours or days leading up to an important appointment or event. This isn’t an officially documented symptom of ADHD, but it’s commonly reported anecdotally.

Clinical research hasn’t investigated this phenomenon directly, but this article will examine what we do know and present tips for overcoming it.

While there isn’t a clinical definition, there’s a great deal of similarity in how people with ADHD describe the phenomenon of waiting mode. They frequently report:

  • having an inability to schedule more than one appointment or task in a day
  • feeling like you can’t start other tasks once a different task is scheduled for later
  • finding yourself endlessly scrolling social media instead of doing things that require more investment
  • feeling like there’s no time to do anything, even though you may have several hours of prep time
  • checking on the time, location, or other details for an upcoming appointment or event repeatedly
  • waiting until the very last moment to start preparing for a task, even though nothing is preventing you from starting
  • having a strong desire to leave the waiting mode, but feeling as though they cannot

Want to get involved?

While we know a lot about ADHD, its symptoms and treatment options are still areas of interest for researchers. If you want to help scientists better understand “waiting mode” or other aspects of ADHD, you can visit ClinicalTrials.gov to learn more about currently open trials and studies.

Make sure to discuss participation in any clinical trial with your primary healthcare professional and/or therapist, especially if it would involve any changes to your treatment plan.

There currently is no research that specifically examines waiting mode. However, scientists have studied how ADHD brains handle waiting and remembering.

Children with ADHD have been found to have lower performance in tasks that require prospective memory. This is the ability to remember a list of instructions and do them in the future. Over time, they may grow averse to situations requiring a good memory.

People with ADHD have also been shown to have lower rates of connectivity than neurotypical brains during periods of rest but higher rates during periods of work or focus. More recent research, including a small 2022 study, has further found that the aversion many ADHD people feel to waiting isn’t necessarily due to excessive mind wandering or an inability to delay gratification.

Waiting mode may not be due to a lack of focus then, but a way that ADHD brains attempt to “hack” their focus. If your brain lacks cognitive connectivity or focus during periods of rest, moving into a period of work (even long before it’s needed) could be a way to ensure you don’t forget anything important.

Someone with ADHD may go through life regularly missing appointments, forgetting important tasks, and experiencing the consequences of this. Therefore, they may subconsciously start to compensate by waiting for extended periods to make sure they don’t miss an appointment or event.

The thought of missing or forgetting something important may also create a great deal of anxiety in those with ADHD. Freezing is one of the basic responses to fear and anxiety, and waiting mode may be part of the freeze response.

Can ”waiting mode” affect your relationships?

Yes, according to Colorado-based family and marriage therapist Chris Muscatello, ADHD can sometimes cause communication issues if your partner is neurotypical or has a different neurodivergence.

“Take ‘waiting mode,’ for example. Understandably, it could be frustrating for a partner of someone with ADHD who doesn’t get why their partner can’t engage in other tasks.

But if they understand it at a deeper level, they may be able to access patience and support for their partner. If you know this about yourself as someone with ADHD, then you can ask for the support you need from them and access other resources as well.”

You can learn more about how ADHD can affect your relationships in this article.

Sometimes, it can be stressful to feel like you’re in waiting mode when you know you have things to do. Working with a therapist is the best way to help yourself create different coping mechanisms to prevent running late or missing important events while still getting things done.

You can also try some of the steps below to help reclaim some of your time:

  • Grace and acceptance: It’s important to understand that if you have ADHD, your brain functions differently than others. Practice accepting this without labels like “lazy” and give yourself the space to not always be perfect.
  • Work with yourself: If you know that a 2 p.m. doctor’s appointment will engage waiting mode, try to schedule things in the morning as soon as possible.
  • Question your reaction: Noticing that waiting mode is happening is a key step. Once you notice this, you can question whether this is the best coping mechanism to use at this time.
  • Enjoy the wait: If you know that your brain wants to make you wait, let it. When you can, try using this time to consciously practice relaxation, self-care, and stepping away from a need for constant productivity.
  • Create a schedule: If you can’t shake the thought that starting a project will make you late, figure out how much time you actually have. Work backward from when the appointment starts, and make sure to factor in commute and prep time.
  • Leave yourself lists or reminders: Writing things down can not only help you remember them, but it also creates a visual reminder. If you know you have to remember several things, create a list and keep adding to it as things come up.
  • Practice time estimation: Those with ADHD tend to have a different temporal experience and internal rhythm than neurotypical people. This means you may need to practice estimating the time it takes to do regular tasks before you can accurately predict how long something will take you.
  • Set alarms: If it helps to calm your mind, set multiple alarms. For example, one for when you need to start getting ready, one for when you need to leave, and another for when your appointment begins.
  • Try some “side quests”: Keep a list of small projects that don’t have a deadline. Then, when waiting mode kicks in, you can tackle these tasks while you wait. It may be helpful to divide your list by how long you think the task will take.

Keep learning about ADHD treatments

If you’re living with ADHD, there are many treatment options available to help you create a better structure in your life. Check out these other Healthline articles for more information:

“Waiting mode” is the feeling of being unable to start any additional tasks or projects if you have an upcoming appointment later in the day. It can sometimes be a stressful experience and create a feeling of being forced to wait. This phenomenon isn’t officially recognized by clinical definitions for ADHD, but many people with ADHD report this experience.

Working with a therapist who specializes in ADHD treatment is the best way to create better coping mechanisms for yourself, but there are also steps you can take at home to improve your time management.