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From Womb to World
From Womb to World

Kristy provides support for pregnant and laboring mothers and for transitioning families after the birth of their baby.

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Ways To Connect with Your Partner Before, During, and After Labor

We all may have experienced at some time during pregnancy a disconnect with our partners, as well as some irritations or neediness. Our hormones and constant shifts in our bodies can throw us into a state of flux, where things may not always feel stable and we may not always feel self-confident. Sometimes during pregnancy we find ourselves feeling vulnerable and even lonely. Finding ways to connect with our partner can help us to feel more secure, and even powerful. This sense of security and power can help feed and support us during labor.

Here are some things you can do to connect with your partner and use it as strength during your labor and delivery of your baby(s).

  1. Take 10 minutes 3 times a week to breathe together. Sit comfortably facing each other and hold hands. Start with your eyes clothes and take a very deep, long breath in together. Take a moment to pause and hold your breath, then gently and slowly release the breath together. After a few moments of doing this with your eyes closed, you will get more in touch with each other and start to find a rhythm. Open your eyes and continue to do the breathing exercise while staring into each other’s eyes. Go ahead and laugh if you need to, but come back to your rhythm and enjoy the connection. Strive for slow, deep inhales that last for 8 seconds with a pause of 3 seconds and an exhale lasting for 6 seconds. You can then use this breath during labor and your partner will be able to help you focus and stay calm.
  2. Have your partner give you a massage. Set the scene. Make the room comfortable and romantic. Dim the lights, light up some candles, put on some soothing and/or sexy music and use lavender essential oil along with a fragrance free massage oil (try olive, sesame or almond oil) to calm you both. Have your partner start with your extremities. Your hands and feet hold a lot of tension and built up energy. It’s a great place to start to be able to let go. Make sure you include a really great head massage and have your partner work on any areas of concern throughout your body. Don’t be afraid to let the massage get romantic and sensual.
  3. Relive one of your favorite memories or dates from the past. There’s no need to try and get it exactly as it was. In fact, adding something new to the date can help you feel like you have grown more with each other and will help you feel secure about being able to connect as your family grows and changes. Spice up the memory and make the date a bit more fun, silly or sexy. If it was a picnic at the shore you loved, keep the simplicity but add a few fantasy items in there that will make you both smile.
  4. Try and have a make-out session at least once a week until baby is born. Get as deep into the kissing as you can without any expectation of it going beyond that. Enjoy slow kisses, soft kisses, teasing kisses and more aggressive kisses. It may prove to be more satisfying than having sex.
  5. Have your partner fulfill a chore list of three things that you really want accomplished. Pick these things very carefully. Think about what may clear space for you and help you to let go of stress and relax more during your pregnancy. What a gift to give to you that will also help strengthen your bond! Be sure to thank him/her with one of their favorite treats when the projects are done.


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Tags: Partnership

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About the Author


Kristy is a highly trained and experienced Doula and Childbirth Educator.

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