Cancer In The Family: A Legacy Of Strength

Actresses Christina Applegate and Brittany Murphy and singer Mya have something in common besides talent: mothers who have had breast cancer. The trio opens up about what you need to know if a someday fear becomes a right-now reality.

CHRISTINA APPLEGATE
"We can beat this. We have to."

At 34, Applegate is only three years younger than her mother, Nancy Priddy, was when she was first diagnosed with breast cancer. "It's not a joke at this point in my life. I'm super anal. I get a mammogram every year and an ultrasound every six months," she says. Priddy, now 65, had a mastectomy in 1978. Eighteen years later, the cancer returned, this time in her abdomen, and she underwent two years of chemotherapy and eight surgeries, including a hysterectomy. Now the two walk together in the Revlon Run/Walk. "It's been almost 11 years, and my mom is healthy and cancer-free," Applegate reports.

Go to Self.com to hear more from Applegate, Murphy, Mya and Gabrielle Union on how to support a loved one through cancer.

MYA
"My mom taught me to move forward, fear nothing."

Eight years ago, Mya's mother, Theresa Harrison, then 42, had her first mammogram and found a tumor. Mya was only 18. "I knew she'd get through it, but I was also very, very scared. I was a little ignorant as to what breast cancer was," she says. By helping her mom through six surgeries, chemo and recovery, Mya has gained perspective. "Now that I'm aware that I'm at risk, I'm taking care of myself."

BRITTANY MURPHY
"Knowledge is power, so make yourself knowledgeable."

Sharon Murphy has faced down breast cancer twice and had a double mastectomy. "My mom's recovering. She's better every day," says Brittany, who is also relieved about her own health: Last year she found two lumps in her right breast, which, happily, turned out to be benign. "We don't know what's going to happen in the next moment," she says. "Enjoy all the tiny details, and appreciate what you have."

Connect with young women at high risk for breast cancer at FacingOurRisk.org.

Do you remember when you learned that your mom had breast cancer?

BRITTANY. I was 15 and shooting Clueless. I knew she was going to get her biopsy results that day, but I hadn't heard from her. So between takes, I called the doctor's office, pretending to be her, and they told me it was malignant. I'll never forget that day as long as I live.

MYA. I was in Florida doing a show for my first album, so she told me over the phone. She asked me to keep it from my dad, since they were separating. It was devastating. It was supposed to be the best time in my life, but it definitely humbled me.

CHRISTINA. I was little, so the only thing that's really vivid to me is seeing her drop the phone and close her bedroom door. That's when I knew something really bad was happening. The second time, 10 years ago, she escaped from the hospital the morning after her fifth surgery because they wouldn't give her coffee. The orderly said, "Ma'am, you can't just walk out of here," and she said, "Well then, you put my ass in a wheelchair and wheel me down right now if you're not going to let me walk." She got her coffee. She's so strong that I never realized how bad it was.

BRITTANY. The second time my mom got diagnosed, she had a bilateral mastectomy and was in the hospital for two months. But like you said, Christina, my mom kept me strong, even when she was out of it, hallucinating and incoherent. I remember once she thought I was my cousin, and she started talking behind my back about me to me. It was hysterical.

Have any of you ever had a breast cancer scare?

BRITTANY. Yes, but, thank God, it was OK. I'll show you. [Brittany pulls her dress aside to reveal her biopsy scar.] They made an incision that ran halfway around my areola.

CHRISTINA. You cant' tell!

BRITTANY. No, it's amazing. Then they removed the lumps. [She pulls up her dress again.] I had numbness in my right nipple for almost a year. Now its' only slightly duller than the left side. It took a while for me to start feeling comfortable with them again. Thats' when it became even clearer how personal it all is. It made me understand what it must have been like for my mother.

Has the way you feel about your own breasts changed?

CHRISTINA. Thank God we have good-looking boobs in my family.

BRITTANY. Oh, I can attest to that! We did wardrobe for the shoot today. Your boobies are gorgeous!

CHRISTINA. They're not bad. They're getting a little lower. But about cancer, you don't live in fear; you live in caution. I get my tests, try to love my body and free myself from stress. Just because my mother got breast cancer doesn't mean I will.

MYA. It doesn't scare me. My mom taught me to move forward, fear nothing and do everything in your power to prevent this disease.

Has your mom's cancer changed your relationship?

CHRISTINA. I still get pissed off at my mother, but my godfather said something recently about ETR—estimated time remaining. It hit me like a ton of bricks. What am I going to do with our time remaining? Nothing negative is worth holding on to.

MYA. My mom got hit with breast cancer right when she started to really break free and live. It made me realize that I had taken her for granted, so now I hold my tongue. I do the dishes when I go home. I vacuum. I do whatever it takes. I can't be happy unless my mom has a chance to live her life.

BRITTANY. I don't let things that would have annoyed me five years ago annoy me today. All that matters is that my mama is healthy, and she taught me to make sure I feel healthy, too.

Did you find humor in any unexpected places?

CHRISTINA. People don't know this, but I wore a wig the last couple of years of Married With Children , because I had a rebellious moment and cut off all my hair and then dyed what was left purple. When my mom's hair started to grow back in, she looked like those punk rockers who were bald with bangs, so I said, "Let's punk you out, Mom!" I'd dye her hair purple so she had this punk thing going. She also bought all the ladies in the cancer center shirts that said "Having a bad hair day."

MYA. My mom liked to roller-skate every Saturday, and she did it even through her recovery. And before she got her implants put in, she'd stick on those pasties?...

BRITTANY. The chicken cutlets? The gelatin things?

MYA. Yes! She had this phobia that they'd fly out on the floor and cause a pileup of skaters. We laughed about that.

Caregivers need support, too. Where do you get yours?

CHRISTINA. I don't ask for help. I have a problem with that. But we have a family friend, and he shows up at my door whether I call or not. He is my saving grace.

MYA. I internalized a lot of my emotions. I wrote my feelings down in a diary and just prayed. And I found comfort in doing activities, like the Revlon Run/Walk. But I didn't feel like a victim. I was the last person who needed any help. Everything was geared toward my mother, so I refuse to let her see me cry.

BRITTANY. I never felt like a victim, either, but neither did my mother. Self-pity is not something that exists in our little world. Is there somebody better off? Yes. But there's always somebody worse off, too.

How much do you fear that you will get your mother's disease?

CHRISTINA. You have to live knowing that no matter what, you're going to be OK. Be smart. Be cautious. Get your mammograms. Feel your breasts. But if you become obsessed, that only causes stress.

MYA. Yes, don't obsess. Take care of yourself, and do something you love. If you can't take care of yourself, how can you help anyone else?

Map out your family health history at www.familyhistory.hhs.gov.