Dr Sylvia Gearing explores why men are cheating on their successful wives, such as Sandra Bullock and Halle Berry. Make sure to watch Part 2, "Why Money Walks."
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With the breakup of celebrity marriages of Sandra Bullock and Halle Berry we already know that men are much more likely to cheat on female breadwinners. But a brand new study now reports that ladies who bring home the bacon, specifically 60% or more of the family’s annual income are much more likely to seek divorce. But before we look at why women with money walk let’s talk about the affairs. What drives these men to cheat on their beautiful and powerful wives? First of all they feel entitled to cheat. The number one predictor of cheating is how entitled you think you are to cheat. If you think cheating is acceptable, you're going to do it. Most people justify the decision, believe the cheating is worth the risk and never dreamed that they will get caught. Marital dissatisfaction – a conflicted marriage whether the fighting is open or hidden can be a gateway to infidelity. Most long-term marriages are roped in the inside-out, and their deteriorations are often not obvious even to the partners. Marital neglect is especially rampant now with our 80-hour work weeks. Too many of us ignore the marriage until it’s too late. Controlling spouses – infidelity is more likely if you routinely feel like your partner is trying to control you or is highly critical of you. Content, jealousy, possessiveness and moodiness make a marriage much more difficult to tolerate. You are simply more likely to cheat if you feel undervalued and chronically criticized. The Self-Absorbed – highly narcissistic men are much more likely to cheat literally. They believe that they operate under a different set of rules. They are shameless and arrogant in their entitlement to stray. Now new research says that cheating in America has changed significantly in the last few years. Here is the latest trend – older and younger people are cheating more. Interestingly, the lifetime rate of infidelity for both men and women over age 60 has increased by about 10% over the last two decades. There are big changes and relatively new marriages too. About 20% of men and about 15% of women under 35 say that they have been unfaithful. Infidelity strikes earlier in marriages and women now cheated about the same rates as men do. Affair partners are bonding – I’ve seen a dramatic difference in affair interaction in the last five years, especially when the affair last more than six months; there is less emphasis on sex and much greater emphasis on emotional intimacy, openness and the sharing of secrets. As the “in fear” increases in velocity, the lie to the spouse increases with it and the deception accelerates in an effort to protect the affair partner. Now if you are considering an affair or if you are already involved in one, please stop and do the right thing. I always say that affairs are like car accidents, they happen before you know it and someone always gets hurt. Protect yourself by either addressing your marital problems, seeking the help of a professional or considering a divorce. There is no price that could be placed on doing the right thing. Please make sure to watch part 2 of this series “Why Money Walks”. For more information and tips on marriage and more, please follow me on Twitter @DrGearing; Gearing Up on Facebook or please read my blogs at www.GearingUp.com. I'm Dr. Sylvia Gearing.