Dr. Debbie and Audra talk about families, relationships, and more.
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Audra Lowe: Well most couples can barely make it a few blocks before all “you know what” breaks lose; the arguments between couples that insight road rage. A new study has some interesting information that explains exactly what couples are arguing about. Also, women are apparently shopping more for themselves and research says that shopping is just like sex for women. Those are out hot topics today with Dr. Debbie. And it’s good to have you here because I know you could roll with all of that and a little bit of extras too. The article in the New York Post and I found another one in USA Today and quite a few other that were asking people and couples in particular about their road rage that they get when they start arguing with each other in the car. Twenty-two minutes is all it takes once you get in the car to start the first argument. That’s it. And typically the number one thing that people argue about is directions, which way to go. Do you have any insight into this or whatsoever? Dr. Debbie: The quo is the contain time where couples actually get to talk, women get to complain to their men because they have an obvious that they can’t get away. They can’t put on the TV, they can’t put on the remote, you know, nothing. And so directions is sort of the most obvious thing you start to fight about and its about power and control, but it also I believe masks other issues that have not been dealt with the couple. So it comes out in those ways. Audra Lowe: Oh, I never thought about that because you are in that space right there. You can’t get away, you’ve got to talk about it. Dr. Debbie: And if you start fighting that means there is something else that it hasn’t been addressed, something else you're angry about because you're really just not that angry about the direction. Audra Lowe: See, now Dr. Debbie I've got to disagree with you. My husband and I and I had to ask to him first, I’ll say “Is it alright if I bring this up?” He said, “Yeah, its fine I don’t mind.” We did not argue at all about it in the car when we were dating, when we first got married. It wasn’t until towards in the end, even when I was pregnant I felt like he was hitting every single pot hole in the street when we were driving. And I would start criticizing, I noticed, that he was just – I felt like he was just driving all over the place doing whatever and not taking me into consideration. So here is what he said; he said, “If you want to start arguing about how I drive, how about you get in the driver seat.” So my little dumb self I said, “Okay, fine. I’ll get in the driver’s seat.” Then I figured out that’s a tactic for me to start driving all the time. So I would be the one driving, but he said – he has a rule now and I follow it, whoever is in the driver’s seat cannot be criticized by the person in the passenger seat. Otherwise, you’ve got to switch. Dr. Debbie: But may I point out that what you said is he’s not taking you into consideration. Audra Lowe: Thank you. Dr. Debbie: So it isn’t about the driving it’s about you being her that he’s not taking you into consideration. Audra Lowe: See and I told him that. I said it’s just that I'm a little uncomfortable with the way you're driving. Can you just slow down a little bit. Dr. Debbie: But I'm telling you it’s not about the driving. It’s about your feelings being hurt and it’s maybe its being hurt in other place in the relationship and it comes out in criticizing the driver. Audra Lowe: Should I get a couch and just lay back right now? Dr. Debbie: I'm going to hold on to my position here. Audra Lowe: I'm going to make sure that he watches this so that he knows. We tried to work it out. We’re okay now, otherwise we just drive in separate cars. But a lot of other people argue about the radio or the music choice, the partner’s bad habits in the car and other things as well. Now let’s talk about women’s shopping. Apparently, around the last holiday season a lot of women were not shopping for themselves. Bu