America's Love Experts Matt Titus and Tamsen Fadal talk about attraction to an ex flame and what it means to have a one night together.
Read the full transcript »
Matt: Hey everybody! Matt & Tamsen here with ask Your Tango answering your questions. Tamsen: Alright, today’s question comes from anonymouslover and she ask, what does it mean if you visit an old ex and you have sex? Her asked her to come several times, eventually she went over and they spent hours talking and ended up having sex. Is this a sign we could get back together? Matt: Absolutely not. I'm gong to generalize here, I do not know everything about the situation but being physically attracted to an ex flame is a lot easier than being psychologically or emotionally attracted, you know, the physical thing is still there but there's nothing most likely behind it, so if you're going to move towards this situation, move slowly and let and emotional thing develop between you two. Tamsen: Yeah! You have to be really careful on a situation like this because if your ex was asking you to go out to dinner, go to a movie, do things that develop into a relationship—again, I’m getting back to you, that’d be one thing. But if your sex is asking you to come over and then the next thing that happens is sex, you're probably dealing with—struggling a physical relationship or at least a physical part of that relationship right now. Matt: Sounds like a booty call thing right now and that’s bottom of the barrel type of a relationship, I mean maybe it’s good for both of you. Maybe you two can mentalize and just be there for each other physically which could work but a lot of times, not to be sexist, women have a harder time with that than men do. Tamsen: Yeah! My advise is to see if your ex—if he wants to get back, you should probably go outside of the house and see if there is some—outside of the bedroom and see if there is another place that you could maybe connect. Matt: If you want to just have sex with him, go for it. But that’s all it is right now. Tamsen: Alright, this is Matt & tamsen answering your love questions at yourtango.com. Matt: Got a question you’d like answered? Tamsen: Visit yourtango.com/questions.