In her new book, author Doree Lewak explains why women obsess over why we're not married yet - and How to stop fretting.
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Hi! I’m Doree Lewak, author of the upcoming book “The Panic Years”. At least I consider myself America’s panicker or at least America’s reformed panicker. The Panic is a time when women’s agenda shift goes from dating casually, dating for a fling, to single mind to the dating for marriage. And it’s the time when women really start to freak out that are not happening for them. That I’ve been there up until a few years ago, I thought I was panicker par excellence. For example, my sister’s wedding, traditional bouquet throwing, I remember frantically flying through the air sideways, hair mid air, trying someway on the soccer. I think even for the sanest most selfish world of a girl today, it’s really hard to pursue all the panic years when there are so many cultural factors or sociological factors to have this out of control wedding industry. The very fact that terms like—it means the celebrity wedding planners are all part of our vernacular, ends up to melting panic. So few women actually won’t admit that they have panic years but even fewer don’t know how to recognize the symptoms. Scenario number one, you’re bridesmaid and four of your best friend’s wedding suffering through a sickening toughly number knowing you’re stuffed at a single table. This has panic years run all over it. Scenario number two, set of clothes, a handbag, or even a nice dinner, you’re smokily settled friends shipping for e-harmony subscription for your 28th birthday—panic years. Scenario number three, your 23-year old dear friend just announced her engagement to the guy she’s been dating for two months. You can’t even get to the guy you’ve been dating for two months to take you out on a Saturday night. This has panic years run all over it. When I first told people about the book, “The Panic Years”, I am definitely met with some skepticism. I think a lot of people initially are a little defensive. The thrust of the book and the main message I hope to convey in the book is really one of positivity. I actually think it’s okay to be single and want to get married but what I think is particularly dangerous as when women embrace a panic and let it overrun their lives. The goal really is to reassure single women that there are millions of other women out there who are panicking right along with them. You know what, if you get married that’s great. If you don’t get married now, that’s okay too but the fundamental message is not to let yourself get consumed by the panic years.