Sex Therapist, Marriage Counselor and author Dr. Marty Klein answers if a woman has a sexual dysfunction if she can't orgasm during intercourse?
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www.EmpowHer.com EmpowHer asks: If a woman can’t orgasm during intercourse, is that considered a sexual dysfunction? Historically, many people thought that a normal heterosexual woman would of course climax from penis-vagina intercourse. It turns out that most American women simply don’t. On the other hand most American women who have orgasms they do have them from clitoral stimulation. Having their clitoris stimulated either by their own hand, their partner’s hand, they’re partner’s mouth, a vibrator or running water, a teddy bear, a pillow. So, it’s really unfortunate that so many women believe that there’s a right way that there’s one normal way to have an orgasm. You know, my feeling as a clinician is, whatever ways your body orgasms, enjoy it. And in general, we really want to get away from the idea that there are normal ways for people’s bodies to behave during sex because it’s all culturally determined. Now, if the predominant way that heterosexual couples had sex was men rubbing their testicles against women’s clitorises, well then men would be pre-orgasmic and women would be coming all over the place. I think what we really need to underline for most people is that, in women, the predominant sexual organ is not the vagina, it’s the clitoris. The vagina kind of comes along for the ride. There are lots of reasons to have penis vagina intercourse. Orgasm for women is typically not one of them. So when a woman comes to me as a clinician, saying, “You got to help me doc, I don’t climax.” My very first question is, “So what are you doing that you think ought to result to the climax?” And if she says intercourses, I say, “Well, let’s slow down here.” Do you know how to have an orgasm in other ways? And if she says no, I’ll say well you know why don’t we investigate some of those other ways first and we can come back to the whole penis-vagina intercourse thing. Because that is for most women, the least likely to result in an orgasm if that’s what a woman wants.