Emma Howard and Lorraine Thomas discuss the questions about babies and young children.
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Emma Howard: Now parenting can be a tricky business that can cause no end of stress to mums and dads. Luckily Lorraine Thomas, one of the UK's top parent coaches is here to answer some of your questions. We've got quite a few to go through Lorraine. People have written in and emailed and even phoned in with these questions. First one is quite a long one. My baby Luis is 12 weeks old. She is gorgeous. But being a mom is more hectic than I imagined. You need so much energy. When I am tired, everything seems hard. I think we can all relate to that. The house work never gets finished. All I do as much as I can when she is asleep. The other day, from the video for ten minutes while I did the washing. Now the crux of this question is lost but I always said, I wouldn't do that when I became a mum, I felt so guilty. She is just being pulled in every direction, isn't she? Lorraine Thomas: Absolutely Emma. I think you know that's a great example. It's like so many moms, they say, oh, I just can't believe what difference having a baby, you know, people said, I would feel tired and it would change my life and it's a complete roller coaster, isn't it? I think having a baby just completely changes your life. And you have no idea. Emma Howard: Actually you do. You know people told you you'd be tired but you're floored by it. Lorraine Thomas: Absolutely. I think being a mom is the most challenging, the most rewarding. Emma Howard: Absolutely. Lorraine Thomas: And you can have those challenges and rewards within a minute call you as a mom. You know how too fast. It's the most important thing that you all are fatigues. I think once you become a mom, there are normality of it really hates you to see and I think, you know, I am a mom, I mean a life long commitment. It's the most important job I am ever going to do. I think what loss of moms, that that's too is that they really try hard to be the perfect mom. You know the stakes are so high. Emma Howard: And you have to keep your house clean at the same time. Lorraine Thomas: Absolutely, absolutely everything. Emma Howard: I mean this too -- it didn't sound too bad to me, I mean pushing it -- for ten minutes, I feel she was doing quite well. She hadn't sat in front of it all morning, all afternoon, what would you say to her? She is saying, have I done the wrong thing, isn't she? Because she thinks she has. Lorraine Thomas: Yeah. I think guilt is something that moms do particularly well, do they? We only making incredibly easy for ourselves to feel guilty about all sorts of things and not only do we make it easy, we tell everybody else about how guilty it is. Emma Howard: You are -- Lorraine Thomas: And do you -- you hear that word, when you were on the high course, when you've done something, some pretty odd crimes but moms use it about themselves all the time. I think the more you tell yourself, the more guilty you feel to it. Emma Howard: I think you are absolutely right. I feel shame that I apply -- Lorraine Thomas: It's no good for you or your baby. Emma Howard: Yes. Lorraine Thomas: I think, you know, don't try to be the perfect mom because the perfect mom doesn't exist and the perfect child doesn't exist. So if you try to be the perfect mom, you're setting yourself up to fail. Emma Howard: So call yourself some -- that's what you're saying. Lorraine Thomas: Absolutely. Be good enough and be a fun mom. It's much more important to be a fun mom. I think there is some of the - you take some of the shortcuts and don't try to do everything. If you sat your child in front of video for ten minutes, you know, I think that's great. Emma Howard: -- this Liz is great. Lorraine Thomas: I talked to -- on the way in today. He said, he never believe I did yesterday. I think I've gone to - and she sat her child in front of the washing machine because she said she was fascinated and just gave the child to do something. You know, don't give yourself a hard time because actually if you do somethings like,