Dr Sylvia Gearing shares her professional secrets about what long distance relationships are really like and how to make them work.
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With the new Drew Barrymore and Justin Long comedy “Going to Distance” in theaters, many couples are seeing long distance relationship in a new light. But what is it really like to go to distance for someone you love? Here are some points to keep in mind. Recession reality – thanks to the economy more distance relationships are relatively common nowadays. With partners working jobs in different cities just to make the bills. The worst part is that as the recession drags on so does the time apart. Couples who had been long distance for years now either at work or at school getting ready for new jobs, new technology new relationships. With the introduction of new technologies like text messaging, Twitter and Skype now available for free of a touch of a button, maintaining a long distance relationship has never been easier. Even though the frequency of communication has no affect on whether or not couples stay together or on the quality of their relationship, technology has made it easier than ever to talk to our loved ones no matter how far away they are. Magnify the positive. Researchers have seen higher levels of idealization of a partner if they are far away. In addition, couples try much harder to avoid conflict if they are long distance. So they don’t want to spoil the little time that they have together with fighting with each other. Progress is slow though. Real partnerships in relationships are built through conflict resolution and fully knowing the other person – the good, the bad and the ugly. Dues to the lack of face time, long distance relationships tend to progress in a much slower rate both towards breaking up and moving on to the next level; hopefully, a deeper and permanent commitment. Now, if you're considering a long distance relationship, the biggest question that you have to answer is do you really trust the other person. Lust and physical attraction can be confused with the real building blocks of love – trust, similar values and a common view of the world. If you're moving into a long-term long distance relationship, be extremely sure about what your partner will feel, think and do. Make sure that you both have the right stuff – the self-discipline and the maturity to handle the challenges of long distance love. For more information tips, please follow me on Twitter @DrGearing, friend me on Facebook and read my blog at GearingUp.com. I'm Dr. Sylvia Gearing.