A girl gets pregnant and knows her boyfriend is the father - but he disagrees. Now he wants nothing to do with the baby. What can she do?
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Dan: Yeah. Jennifer: Dear Dan and Jennifer, my boyfriend and I had unsafe sex and now I’m pregnant. My boyfriend claims that I must have had sex with somebody else because he knows he didn’t get me pregnant, targeted sperm. I know it was him. Dan: So does he have like a spermometer and he checks, and no at that day, I had nothing in the log. The spermometer. How does he know? Jennifer: I know it was him so now he wants nothing to do with the baby. What should I do? Dan: How does he know it wasn’t him? How does she know it was him? Jennifer: Well, if he had sex with her and he has no way to know but she could know if that is for sure the only person she’s ever had sex with, then she can be sure. Dan: Yeah. Jennifer: Right? Dan: And it really, I mean, how many of those you know who’s the dad billboards or whatever have we seen around. These tests are not that hard to do in order to get done. Jennifer: Yeah, there is paternity testing and you can actually pursue that legally to have him follow through with the test. If that doesn’t work out for you, you can always go on the Springer Show. But I’m going to warn you on that one, okay. On this regular show— Dan: Or whatever other show or those daytime oh my God shows. Jennifer: I have to admit okay, I get so sucked under those stupid shows but— Dan: I still don’t know how but anyway— Jennifer: But anyway, I have seen way too many women proved wrong on there so you’d better be a 100% certain if you’re going to do something like that, right? Dan: Can we just—why don’t we just do one of those tests? It’s what—a $100.00 or something. It’s not that—I don’t know how much it is but it’s not that big of deal. Plus, there’s the other thing— Jennifer: Well, he has to be willing to take the test too. You’ve got to understand, his very adamant about it. He may not do it unless you get a legal intention or something forcing him to do it. Dan: Yeah, and I think she just has to decide what her options are. I mean, what are her options? What can she do? Jennifer: Well look, okay, say, you proved he is the father, now what, right? You cannot make him be a dad, okay. I know that sucks but it’s the reality. As a woman, if you decide to have a baby, unfortunately, you popped it out and you’re going to be the one raising it whether you can make him do it or not. Dan: Are you courting me? Jennifer: And that’s really hard but that’s the honest answer I give to women especially in this situation. If your—unless you're prepared to be a single mom you know, there’s always adoption and there’s abortion, I don’t know how you feel about that but there are options out there. Dan: It’s just important to understand your options and the reality because you can think while that moment popped it out, he’s going to be a full time dad because that simply is not the case. He may, he may not and the most that you’re going to get to Court illegally you know after he is forced to do a test, the most you’re going to have him committed to legally is to provide some money on an ongoing basis to help you raise the kid, which may or may not ever come. So— Jennifer: And it may be less than you think. Dan: Yeah, so just like that Jennifer said, if you’re going to have a baby, just understand right then, you are having the baby and you may or may not get help from anyone else. Jennifer: Yup, so explore your options. It makes you understand what they are and make sure that you understand what the consequences are. I might even recommend some counseling to help you make this decision but make sure it’s the right kind of counselor because you want to listen to the advice of others but even though they may have your best interest in mind, they’re not going to be the one raising the baby. Dan: That’s right.