A group of young mothers discuss their experiences about sharing the workload with their partners after having a baby.
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Mara Lee: One thing I learned after having my first baby was not to jealously guard all of the jobs that had to be done during the day, the feeding and the settling and the nappy changing. I kind of made my jobs and didn't let my partner help because I thought that you know some strange reason you might do it wrong and therefore should wake early from her nap or, and then I wouldn't be able to sleep. So, I had this crazy thing that you know I had to do everything and I kind of probably hold a bit of about a distance. Ingrid Tarrant: That is so precious -- the jewels -- the bond they can have for body, you don't want to give it to anybody and you know even your husband. Rachel Royce: It's quite a natural feeling in that way. Cheryl Baker: I don't think that it could do the job just done. Rachel Royce: Well, they can't give the milk and they can't you know breast feed them if you see that child. Mara Lee: Actually that's you have -- that's why we are sharing with the -- instantly, there is device because you have to -- Ingrid Tarrant: So, it's never going to be showing. Mara Lee: Exactly. Ingrid Tarrant: Unless you are bottle feeding, and then it gets shared. Doesn't it? Mara Lee: Yeah, I think a of woman do to the bottle feeding, I think, so just from day one it's the urine hospital with the child everytime that cries you're getting up and there is a pressure with the breast feed nowadays above and you -- Rachel Royce: But you will also lifted the baby inside your growing from nine months and you don't wanted to give it have to me that you don't want to hand over to somebody and you think very kind of like you baby -- Ingrid Tarrant: -- will open a little coat, isn't it? It is still actually attached. Cheryl Baker: I think it is attached. Actually, my mom, when she was 89 and I was still attached. I will, so that, you know, I don't think that mother and baby think of -- Rachel Royce: But you are lucky your husband did want to help, I mean, you know, I -- Do they? Mara Lee: No. I mean did you guys? Rachel Royce: No. My husband I said what the least you could do in the night is if wake some cries, say if he needs changing because obviously we can't breast feed. Yes, but the thing is that you have this bond and he loves you because you breast feed him and he sees a change in the nappy as a horrible thing, so I better not change his nappy. I mean I don't really like that. Ingrid Tarrant: For Christmas no good, I mean he really wants to -- Mara Lee: That is so you really think. Ingrid Tarrant: So, he didn't with this nappy thing, I mean I was breast feeding as well and so of course, he couldn't do that side fit, but once or twice he says you like just do nappy and that would just help, it just -- it saves me, it gives me five or ten minutes. But it's not just as like the stinky side, but it is actually in a form of bonding as well because otherwise they are not going to bond and that's the thing, if they get too far away, they don't -- they're not there from the beginning. And I'll never forget the time to change, I set him when Toby was born, the first time he change the nappy was when Toby was about four months old and that's -- I said, I could have told you, it was a girl. And you would never have known until you sold the nappy. I couldn't that -- that's how that was, and then he do the nappy. Yak! Cream all over him and he pulls those stickers down on the back because he thought that was way to do it, and then they wouldn't stay because it looked cream all over, he was useless. Rachel Royce: I think it's quite important that to make the partner get a bit involved because otherwise they'll go up and leave their own life. I know women who have done everything until their children were 18, and then discovered that their husband have been with somebody else for last 10 years because they weren't involved in the family, and things you know it didn't work out with my husband, but initially you know that was him not doing a