Sexual Boundaries Video

In this Cherry TV video the women talk about sexual boundaries -- how comfortable they are being sexual on first dates and early within relationships, and how the handle situations in which they are pressured to do things they are not interested in.
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Sexual Boundaries Female: Hear the women discuss getting out of an uncomfortable sexual situation. Female: With guys I think that’s a bigger problem is that young women are only taught how to yes to sex like sex education those kinds of stuffs. It’s always this idea that boys always want sex and they’re going to want sex and— Female: You’re the gate keeper. Female: And it’s owner of the vagina, you are the gate keeper to sex. And so you’re supposed to say no, you’re supposed to say no at these ones. All of these kind of at weird social rules and so I feel like a lot of girls this is true me growing up. I’d certainly never felt like I say yes in the first place until I had been sexually active for a while and I finally figured it out. I think that’s a bigger problem is that like girls if you don’t have to say and how can you can no and have it be meaningful at all. Female: I’m actually opposite I mean because I’m such a hellion little rebel kid. I was so to hang out with like all of these uncontrolled boys I was very young too like the first time I got went down on me I think I was 11 or 12 very young and it was just this like what the fuck is going on you know it was truth or dare like to the next level and I lost my virginity when I was 13 same way of being like because I hang out like with the bunch of people that deal on drugs and drink a lot and so— Female: Never having children? Female: And when I see a 13 year old girl now like she’s a baby and it was that it was like I had no idea like to say no, yes, I was just like, okay and it wasn’t until I was older what you’re talking about until I started actually thinking like what do I want. Do I yes or no and I was like actually well I don’t want this and that— Female: I used to put up with an off a lot because I initially wasn’t sure whether I like something or not always. I wasn’t always good at reading my sexual response and like, am I getting panicky or arouse like they were several emotions to me. And so yes, often I went further than I was comfortable going just because it was happening and I didn’t know how to get out of it. Female: There’s not to you don’t have know how to get of it initially or like I don’t want to be mean and is this what I want, this is not what I want if you’re not self aware. And then you don’t know until after you’re feeling really bad. Female: Well, I think the main thing was just sex being about the guy and so I’m going to talk to so many people that batches the message that’s carried down to us, it’s from guys only want sex everything is about the guys and their sexual life. And so it was this idea that I carried when I was like I want to be the bad girl like this was like some kind of rebelling thing so like having sex is being rebellious. And then combined with you know it’s all about the guy and he checked me forever to be like saying no is not being like rude I’m not getting like cool points, I’m like yes, I’m not a virgin. And logically so long I don’t even—and even after I think it was just like everyone’s first experience kind of sets the tone for what’s going to happen. So I’ve kind of had the breath you know like habits are harder to break than to make. And so it was not until my early 20s I guess I find it being like it I’m not going—I mean I couldn’t go on a date without sleeping with guy I couldn’t do it. And finally I was like celebrating when I went on and get a date with a guy that didn’t like and didn’t kiss I was like this is amazing now that we don’t fuck but I didn’t even kiss him. It was a very long process.

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