Kimberly Ford, author of Hump: True Tales of Sex After Kids, discusses 3 ways a new mother can reinvigorate her sensual side.
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My name is Kimberley Ford. I am the author of 'Hump: True Tales of Sex After Kids'. One of the most important things about the book is that the inspiration and sort of the motivation needs to come from the woman. Her body has been the site of the trauma of pregnancy, and childbirth and her body, in most cases, is the one that's being tugged on all day long, and sat on and burped up on. So really, the woman needs to find a way so that she's the one who's feeling good about any sort of sexual interaction. One of the keys, for a lot of women, actually is to find some sort of personal massager that is making it easier to have an orgasm. You don't have the hour and a half that you used to have, or the forty-five minutes or even the half-hour. Everything is condensed, and if that is always translating into sort of a quickie for the mom, then that's not very satisfying. We didn't use any sort of vibrators or anything until after our second kid was born, and it was like a revolution. My younger sister, she has been jumpy, shocked -- I have gotten her first Brazilian waxing, and she said, you really need to do this. At that point I had little kids and I'm like, Look, I don't really believe in all of that, and I don't really care about the whole bikini line and whatnot. And she said, It's really not about the bikini line, it's much more about sensation. She was having much better sex without all of the hair down there. We have actually had an erotic dance class, like be sort of between 12 and 21. It was shocking, actually, how much people loved it. My good friend, installed two poles in her living room and so we did a pole-dance class at her house one evening. And there was lots of jokes about how all these dads were going to be waiting out for the moms who are arriving home. People ask how much of that got drawback into the bedroom. We were not going home and performing the nasty, or the butt show or -- I mean it wasn't sort of verbatim. I mean I think after an evening like that if you are more in touch with yourself as a sexual person, then you more after bring it into the bedroom. I think if a women can find a way whether that's a girls night out, whatever it is that makes her feel more sort of in touch with sensual part of who she is, then in fact there are lots and lots of benefits to be had from the physical intimacy, that you can maintain with your spouse. Even though in the beginning it's hard, and it may take it till I definitely believe that in the long run having kids can be good for your sex life.
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