In this Cherry TV video the women explain the rules of playful teasing sex.
Read the full transcript »
Sex Play Rules Female: Does “no” always mean “no”? Hear the women talk about teasing. Female: I think a lot of—I feel with male sexually there’s a structure around being aggressive in our culture and that there’s idea right that women are always going to say no even if you mean yes. And unfortunately I think it’s true to one extent like a lot of women do say no when they want to say yes because they feel like they have to. And a lot of times no means no like when I say no, I mean no but I think a lot of women say no and mean like, oh ask me again in 10 minutes. Female: And there’s a difference between negotiating the initial boundaries and game playing later on. You’ve got to be serious the first time and then later you could play with the boundaries if you’re really with someone you trust then you can transgress both ways and negotiate that further. But I’d say at the outside if you’re with a new person boundaries should be pretty hard— Female: Setting stone. Female: What you’re saying I don’t know any women that when they say no it means yes and I know it’s not pleasurable for me. I mean I don’t mean like you say no and you mean yes so it’s okay and just like—that’s not what I’m saying at all. I just think that there’s this weird like heterosexual dance that men and women do that you want him to call you again and say you want to see him like the role that’s going to sleep with him on the first date. I mean I think this gets less true like the older you get but I think this is sort of like a very like high school thing is that you want to maintain this— Female: So that’s like what the rules are all about not suppose to have sex until wedding day if you’re trying to get a husband. A lot of women still abide by that which— Female: Well because it’s the guys react maybe in experience when you do sleep with them a lot of times they don’t call you again because they’re like, oh she’s a slot or that’s what—that’s what that scene that we’re playing is like it’s—or like that’s the expectations like she knew going in she’s going to sleep with me that I’m not going to call her again so I’m not going to call her again. When I didn’t know that was script. I think there’s a lot of script that goes on. Female: Or gets confused with the one night stand because you may really like that person and you just let them sleep through your fingers as a one night stand. Female: So for me coming from dating men and women to know I started saying, guys the boundary thing is so weird to me because I’m like, I don’t understand the game at all and but women is like you have sex when you want to have sex and you don’t want to have sex you don’t sex not a big deal. But the flip side of it is then— Female: Does “no” always mean “no”? Hear the women talk about teasing. Female: If you want to have sex and you’re like cool let’s have sex and then you have sex with the guy and then he’s like, oh woo, and then you never hear from him again. So it’s like the guys want you to sort of play the game too which also is confusing to me and like, I just said yes let’s have sex because I want to have sex, let’s do it, why do we have to play this game.