How can you integrate your spouse’s children from previous marriage into your home life? What do you do if your stepchildren do not see you as a parental figure?
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Nina: Hi, we're back again talking about stepchildren. This is a very heavy duty subject, because as we told you before with their all lot of stepchildren out there and combined families, and it's a very difficult things some kids don't like the other kids in the family and is reflection and so far. There is another problem that comes into play here we got, this is a women that took a stepson, when she was only 27-years-old. Kendell: So her husband had a child from a previous marriage. Nina: But he is not his wife, his first wife was killed in a car accident and therefore they took this child then. Now his new wife is only 27-years-old. She does not know how to raise the teenage and so therefore now he thinks she is his friend almost likely -- because they are close age. He doesn't treat her has a parental figure, so she wants to suggestions on a how to raise a teenager, once she is just little more than a teenager herself. She is 27-years-old and he doesn't see her as another figure. So that's the very big problem when you have an older teenager Kendell: I think that happens in families in general. I've seen it before some parents today are really busy trying to be their children's friends Nina: Yeah, and that's not a good things Kendell: There are friends, there are your parents you can be friendly you can do this with them you haven't know you should enjoy them, you should enjoy them, but at the end of the day you are not their friend Nina: you can be friendly with them and of course enjoy doing things within and take amount ice skating and movies hanging out within this wonderful, but they have to know that there was fine line. They are still your parents you have to respect you parents. You have to respect what they said you. They are wiser than you there, older than you there bend through things that you have been through at the experience of vast amounts of worldly things of able that they have gone through and you have to understand that there is fun, they have to expect you and I Kendell: Which brings me back to my answer and I hate to see it's a pat answer, but it this to me also thinks out to it. She has to talk to somebody and I don't need her husband because he will not, he will never work, he can't talk or Nina: He also has to understand now, she is now his mother, his mother is gone. She is killed in the car accident this is the women now that you replacing right. Kendell: Right, but she has to go you know what else happens having this been to a stepmother. Nina: Right. Kendell: When the first child that comes into your life as your stepchild and you haven't this raise this child and you haven't giving birth this child, you don't have this self-confidence. Nina: Yeah. Kendell: You don't know the self-confidence, when I think back that things happened to me you know if it happened to me with any of my biological children I would gone after the people who embrace me, humiliated me in front of me with a vengeance, but I didn't have enough self security. Nina: Yeah, right self-confidence. Kendell: Self-esteem to do it. Nina: Yeah, yeah. Kendell: I had a situation where I taking my stepson after school and a car full in front of us, so we can get over the parking lot. The women gets over the carriage goes where are you going with that child? And I'm actually nerves, yeah like I came steal them. Now somebody try that with my own child she'll miss me because she know how to deal with rock. However you don't have that, she doesn't have the self-confidence, she hasn't gone through it. Nina: She is too young, she is just got married. Kendell: She needs to contact to somebody Nina: She is just enjoying her husband and now child is been front in her lab that she didn't ask for and she has no idea how to had raise a child. Kendell: Also, a dead mother, who may have been idealized because you know death that have to that anybody Nina: That's fair okay, that's a tough call I hoped you go talk to somebody Kendell: Go
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