We were chatting online and everything was great, but ever since I sent him my picture, he got "busy with work and family". What's really going on?
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[Music Playing] Jennifer: This question is from Shannon in New York. Dear Dan and Jennifer, I met this guy on EHarmony, we are emailing each other everyday for a week, he told me I sounded interesting and ask for my photo. In that email, he also told me he was also going to visit his family for thanks giving week. I send him the photo and waited for him to respond but he did not. I then had to email him asking him why or if he received my picture. He replied saying, “Yes, I received your photo and thank you but at this moment I am taking a break for now. Things are really busy over here, blah, blah.” Anyway, is he giving me the brush off after seeing my picture or is he still interested and is he really busy? Will I hear from him again? I am really confused by what he wrote, can you help me sort it out? [Music Playing] Dan: Is he giving you the brush off? Could be, no way to know. But you know what? I want to know what those other 50 guys that she emailed are saying. Jennifer: You are assuming she emailed 50 guys. Dan: And that is just it. On line dating or what we would like to call, online introductions is in large part of numbers game, you do not just find one person, really. Because in this case, he may have lost of job, he may have moved, he may have a major personal issue in his life, there could be a hundred different reasons he may not be giving back to her. Or he may have seen her pictures, “Damn she looks just like my sister.” That is not going to work. Jennifer: Yes, you will never know, for some reason rather than maybe it clicked, maybe it did not. Dan: Exactly, now, one suggestion that I would make, most people search for people on line, or search only for photo profiles on line and for some reason you do not have your picture. Jennifer: Some assumption, maybe they exchanged some additional pictures. Dan: Sounds to me like he only face a week later. Jennifer: Agree. Dan: Some people are very concerned playing their picture up and I am sure there is a reason for that or not but you never going to have this sort of surprise if you are going to put your picture from the beginning and because visual appeal is something that is going to be a reality in a relationship. Jennifer: You like it or not, you cannot tell anything about a person’s personality from their pictures but we are all attracted to a certain looking field. Dan: Yes, not to mention, most people search for profile, they clicked it on boxes, find the only profile to pictures, so as soon as you are going to put your picture, they are going to get 10 to 50 times more, I mean as a girl, on an online dating, say you are going to get 10 to 50 times more interest. So, unless there is something seriously, seriously a big concern for you, put that picture up and then next thing is do contact one person, find people that meet your criteria and contact 10, 20, 30 people, then you narrow down to the perfect match for you, do not just find one. Jennifer. There is one lead if you want to call, it goes cold on you, do not worry about it, move on to the next one. Dan: Yes, that is life that happens, if you are looking for match really clicks and has been perfect. Jennifer: Yes, for both of you.