What are the nine personality needs in the Enneagram?
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Host: What are the core needs of the nine personality types in the Enneagram? Chris Wright: Alright, now we are going to be looking to see what your core needs are, which Enneagram type are you and which of the wings and lines are for you and your partner. Two, threes and fours are emotional types of people. They all share a sense inside that I am nobody and that is like an ego death, that s, you can t go there. I need to be somebody in this relationship. Twos, they have this gift inside, a feeling worthwhile, a feeling caring about people. They develop a personality that is very nice, very sweet, very loving to people and they care deeply about other people s needs. To the extent that they lose touch with that quality, then there becomes an emptiness inside that I am not worthwhile, that I am nobody and that s really painful for two and so, the pressure of that creates a need, a drive that tend to throw them over the top, where they’re over caring, over sensitive, over helpful to other people. So, if you are married to a two for example, you could say to her, Honey, where would you like to go to dinner tonight? And she would say wherever you want to go, because if you’re happy, I’m happy. So, there s a sense of twos losing touch with themselves, because what fills them, what fills that emptiness is when they’re helpful to other people and other people respond, make them feel that I am important, that I am somebody in this relationship. Now, let’s shift to the threes. Threes have this gift of excellence, of generating results that are excellent. Their whole thing is about creating results. Their personality is multifaceted, they are effective in everything they do, they are highly motivated, they are ambitious, its all about getting results. To the extent that they lose touch with that quality, that generative quality of creating results, they feel the sense inside, that I am inadequate and that drives a personality to fill that void by being super-adequate. So now, they are really ambitious, now they are always working, they are always focused on their projects, they are always making sure that everything they do is excellent. The presentation is excellent, that it looks good, so that people have a sense that, Oh my gosh, you are somebody, you are impressive because deep inside having less touch with that quality, I feel like I am nobody and if I can only impress you, if I can only achieve so much, then I’ll be somebody. And so, in a marriage with a three, they have a need to be successful, a need to be achieve a lot, a need to look good, a need for a strong presentation, so that people will feel like, Oh, you’re somebody. Different for a four, fours have a sense also that I am nobody inside and it s very scary place for them. It comes from their gift of originality. Fours have this creative gift of originality. It s the essence of who they are and their personality to the extent they lose touch with that gift of originality that they then have to overcompensate. They manufacture that in their personality. So, they develop a personality that tends to be very creative, very artistic, but different from everybody else. They don’t, to blend in with everyone else would feel like death to a four. So, they tend to dress differently, they tend to have tattoos and piercing and they wear clothes that are very creative that people would say, Wow, that s really different. So, for a four that s a badge of authenticity, a badge of honor that I am special, that I am different in my personality. Fives, fives now we are moving into a mental type of person. Fives are the most mental of all. Fives have this gift inside of knowledge. There has been too much of grasp of knowledge, profound knowledge makes immediate sense to a five. They also have a sense of, to the extent that they lose touch with that knowledge. They feel this insecurity about needing to know now and that drives a personality that s driven to understand, to know things. Th