We all disagree sometimes! What can make or break a relationship is how you handle disagreements. Will you make up or break up? Paul Carlson - http://personalchanges.com/
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Jennifer: Hi! We are back again with our good friend Paul Carlson, he is a Life Coach here in Dallas, Texas and over the next few videos, we are actually going to try to answer some of your toughest questions in the way that its non that judgmental and just kind of our normal, how do I want to say, in a way that only we can do it. Dan: Yeah, that works. Jennifer: Okay, here is the deal, we all disagree sometimes. It doesn't matter how happy you are as a couple and how much you love each other, fact is you are going to disagree sometimes, okay. And what can actually make or break a relationship is how you handle those situations when you disagree. Dan: People start throwing things and people start ducking. Jennifer: Yeah, Yeah, how you handle in a way so that you don't Dan is not hiding under the table. Dan: Or under my little dog or something, it just depends on the situation and things are fine. Jennifer: So far, aside from hiding under the little dog, how can couples handle these kinds of things, so that they tear the relationship apart? Paul Carlson: Well the way that, that some couples handle things, either the man or the woman is they become passive, aggressive. Now what that means is that they tell the other one what they want to hear and then they end up doing with they want to do anyway or even worse they just go along when it's really bugging the crap out of them. And that builds up and builds up and builds up and what used to be a little thing becomes a really big thing, okay. The main thing here is to be an adult, recognize that it's okay for adults to agree, to disagree and to recognize that men and women are wired differently. They are going to have different opinions, they are going to have different ways of doing things that makes them feel like, oh it's being done the right way. And the bottom line is, it's about communication. And like when it comes of child bearing, you do have to come to some kind of a conclusion and then even if you are not the one that "wins the argument", you have to go along and support the other one in front of the children. Okay you have got to show a common support there, because you don't want those kids to feel all that conflict. Jennifer: Or then you are going to play one off the other, right? Paul Carlson: Oh Yeah. Dan: Even my little dog has picked that out perfectly. Paul Carlson: Well and what you do in that context, is you just give all your power way to those kids. They are going to run you like a train. Dan: Oh yeah, they catch up, sure. Paul Carlson: So the big thing here is to recognize that in all adult relationships, this is whether it's a significant other, whether its two friends that live together, whether its brothers or sisters that live together or whatever. Dan: Yeah. Paul Carlson: There is always going to be disagreements. Dan: Sure, we are all humans especially men and women. Paul Carlson: Over it, it's your ego that wants you to be right and the other one to be wrong. But you know of what, sometimes there is two valid different opinions to the same situation. Jennifer: Then you can both be right. Paul Carlson: Yeah. If you can both be right, it's not the end of the world. Okay, agree to disagree and move on. But the big thing here again, and we talk about this over and over again is communication. Don't go silent, don't just tell them what they want to hear and then do it, you want to do. That all has consequences down the line, they are quite frank you don't want to do it. So just be honest, be direct and recognize that this is the passion. It's okay to be passionate. Jennifer: So how do you do? What happens when you felt passion? [Voice Overlap] take over. Dan: Passion, throw that hairbrush over your head, you. Jennifer: How do you diffuse it? Yeah, once it reaches that level. Dan: You mind, everyone has a little dog to hide under. Seriously. Paul Carlson: First of all you do it? Dan: No, no, I got that, I got that down. Then I hide her under the dog, b
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