Taking your mate home to meet your family and friends is not the easiest thing to do. So, today Whitney Casey and Jeff Wilser are here to give us some tips to make it more painless.
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Audra Lowe: Even if you're not snooky, dating can be tricky. And it’s pretty tough to let somebody into your inner circle of close friends and family. So when is the right time to do that? Well here with some answers is Better’s relationship expert and author of “The Man Plan”, Whitney Casey. She’s joined by Jeff Wilser, author of “The Maxims of Manhood”. Whitney Casey: Thanks Audra. Okay, now this one is a great one because it sort of like my opinion versus your opinion. Many girls feels like they need to divulge everything to their men about who they are, where they're from, who their parents are. I want to know, you know, from male perspective what you think; first of all about do you need to meet the parents, do you want—all these about your mom, your dad, you know especially girls who talk too much about their dad? Jeff Wilser: Issues – red flags right there. But let’s start simple and let’s start small; meeting the friends. I mean it’s actually a pretty good litmus test for how serious the guy is with the relationship. So I think it’s something I want to do in time. And if the guy never wants to meet her friends or never wants to introduce her to his friends is kind of a sign he only wants a casual hookup. So it’s a good litmus test. If after several dates, the guy never wants to meet your friends, it’s a bad sign. Whitney Casey: And we always want to meet your friends like even on the first date. Jeff Wilser: Well you can judge a lot about someone’s character by the company they keep. So it is important. And even as a guy, yes, I do want to meet her friends. And if someone’s friends all suck that’s kind of bad sign. Whitney Casey: I know. Because that’s what they're going to end up being. Now what about the parents, I mean they sculpt your life they raise you; I recently – one of my friend said “Her mom was kind of weird.” And I thought, oh no what does that mean for the relationship. Jeff Wilser: Well we all have weird family members, so I think it’s unfair to like judge someone by their parents or grandparents or the weird uncle or whatever. I like in meeting someone’s parents to going to dentist. It’s not something you want to do, it’s not something you look forward to but you have to for the long-term health. And if you don’t you put it off for years, it will come back to bite you. Whitney Casey: Okay, so what about this trip down memory road. You know recently I'm sitting there with my newly husband. Jeff Wilser: Congratulations again. Whitney Casey: Thank you. And I said, we’re on this road trip and I said what is the song that you know every word to or like let’s do we’re humming TV theme songs, and I realized he doesn’t know any words to any songs. I can sing all these songs and so—this is sort of like this intimate thing we’re sharing and now we’re married. So trips down memory road, do I need to like look at his photo albums, do you need to look at hers, what is it? Jeff Wilser: Well I don’t think there is a need to. I don’t think there should be a briefing; now, I will fill you in on years 14-17 in my life, because that’s not at all fun. But organically sharing your past and things that you like yeah that’s part of relationship, that’s part of intimacy that’s great. Early in dating though, too much can be too much. So I think two words, no one should ever say on a first date or second date or any date is, “My therapist”. Whitney Casey: So don’t meet the therapist at all. Jeff Wilser: Exactly. Whitney Casey: Meet the parents, meet the friends, look at the pictures, but never the therapist. Jeff Wilser: Keep that part of you elsewhere. Whitney Casey: I know my friends they all have therapist and so rather than saying “my therapist said this” that we all know each other’s therapist names. Because I'm a relationship expert you should have a therapist it’s a good thing for relationship. Anyway Jeff, thanks for joining. Jeff Wilser: Always fun. Whitney Casey: Audra back to you. Audra Lowe: Thanks a lot guys. And
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