Our yummy mummies discuss the many types of guilt that pregnant women and mums feel.
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Mara Lee: For me the guilt of motherhood began I think when I was pregnant and really rowing that night out on the tiles that I had before I knew that I was pregnant with my daughter and you're thinking, Oh! You know, 79 glasses of wine in one evening, would she be okay? And it started there and then I remember when I had her and trying to breastfeed and it not happening and thinking about giving it up but just you know that awful guilt but you are not doing the best thing for her and if you were -- if you perceived, you would be able to breastfeed and I couldn't and when I gave up I just, I felt just really -- Rachel Royce: How could she give up? Mara Lee: I think she was fully bottle-fed for about 6-7 weeks and I was longing to do it earlier but that sort of you know it’ll get into your health. Yeah exactly, and you know she to this day, she has asthma and she has been in hospitals a couple of times with asthma attacks. Now they are saying that breast milk can help prevent things like asthma allergies and I think it's probably guilt of -- Ingrid Tarrant: But how far -- breast fed her till then. Well you could look at it that way. You got to kind of like diminish your guilt, haven't you? But it is [Voice Overlap] Cheryl Baker: You should not feel guilty at all, it didn't suit you, it didn't happen. It wasn't right for you and physically it wasn't going to happen -- Mara Lee: Yeah, I think you are right, I mean I think I would have been worse off mother if I had in it. But I think it's just because you want to do the right thing, aren’t you? And we get so much information now of what the right thing is. So if you can't do or if you don't do it and somebody can choose not to do it. Ingrid Tarrant: Some women absolutely find the whole thought repulsive -- Cheryl Baker: I didn't like breastfeeding at all. Ingrid Tarrant: Oh! Did you not? Cheryl Baker: Didn't like at all. Ingrid Tarrant: And yet some women love it and they won't give up breastfeeding, they breastfeed their children -- Yes. Yes, which is really weird. Cheryl Baker: And I can feel guilty because I didn't like it but then I thought I did it for the same reason, it's best for the baby. Rachel Royce: What did you have? Did you have pain with it? Cheryl Baker: And I had my started from my first born and that was -- thank goodness for the cabbage leaves. But -- No, it wasn't -- I thought it was best for them, I just, I knew that I was producing milk and it was the natural thing to do. You, know parents going back to million years ago breastfeeding their babies and I am not any different, I am a woman, my breasts are full of milk, I should feed my babies and I hated every minute of it. I didn't get any -- all of that mother and baby bonding stuff didn't come from breastfeeding. Ingrid Tarrant: But it was a practical measure and actually so much easier than bottle. So but did you hate doing it. At times you are thinking, I really, I am only doing this because I feel I should. Cheryl Baker: Yeah. I felt like a cow. Ingrid Tarrant: Did you? Cheryl Baker: Yeah, I felt like a cow. Rachel Royce: Did you ever have a breast pump because -- Cheryl Baker: Yes! Well, that was the worst thing. Now well I did accord a gazey. I used to breastfeed one because I just couldn't cup and breastfeed into it the same time because one would slip off and you haven't got a hand free -- get it by the ear with your teeth, pull it back on. So I used to breastfeed one and then when I would finish breastfeeding that would come dicey, stick it on the other tit and -- I am just and then as soon as I would finish that, I don’t have enough time to clean yourself up and baby crying and breastfeeding and I think that’s possibly why I hated it. Rachel Royce: I went away for a week when my baby was just 4 months old. And which was lovely and romantic and everything, I took a breast pump and I overdid it because hardly anything comes out when you first do it, you don't think it is. And then overnight my breas