In this relationship video Matt Titus and Tamsen Fadal talk about giving a cheating spouse a second chance.
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Tamsen: Hey everybody, Matt and Tamsen here when we get real about love. Okay, they were talking about of cheating and second chances, so what do you do if you’ve been cheated on do you give somebody a second chance? I say no. Matt: And I, I'm going to say yes because a lot of people have crisis a character and they made bad decisions sometimes and they can't take it back but they're very, very sorry about what they did and they're not going to do it again. Tamsen: How do you know if they're really sorry? Are they sorry they caught or they—and there's a cheater man had to sorry, are they sorry that they caught or they sorry that they cheated? Matt: That’s a very good point and that’s where you have to really evaluate the situations. If you truly believe that your partner who was cheating is sorry that they did that and they would never do it again then I think that your partner deserves another chance. But if they're sorry they got caught then I'm going to go with you, definitely not. Tamsen: I think that you have to look at it like this, first of all, you know my concerns is if someone is cheated on you and you were very honest about our situations that you, you know we’re in the marriage and you were not the best kind of guy. Matt: That was a bad kind of guy. Tamsen: Right! Matt: But anymore. Tamsen: So you’ve been like that in the past but you never did that directly to me so I don’t really know how do you done that to me that I could have accepted that, so I think it’s really going to be the person, you know that this was done too the victim in the relationship. I think if the victim would be able to, you know were first believes the person, second of all is able to forget which is really difficult. I don’t know if you ever do but finally what they need to do is be able if they decide to forgive somebody to forgive them and not bring it up. Matt: So that’s a good point I was just going to add that. Tamsen: You know like in the fight. Matt: A lot of people forgive but they don’t forgive they use it against the person they bring it up. Tamsen: Right, every time that there's a fight. Matt: They never feel the same but so let say you catch your partner and you try to forget that but you can't let them go. Don’t torture them, you know again and again and again for what they did in the past. Tamsen: But so the bottom line you think cheaters deserves a second chance I think I have really hard time with that one. Matt: I think cheaters definitely deserve a second chance if they are sorry what they did not that they got in caught. Tamsen: So just like carry on. Matt: There you go. Tamsen: All right, what do you think, do you think cheaters deserves a second chance let us know we’ll be waiting. Matt: See you.
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