Family Agreements Video

Deborah Hutchinson and Judge Lynn Toler have written a book and "Put It In Writing" in order to help address some of the most important and emotional life issues that can damage our relationships.
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Audra Lowe: Well, how many times have of you lent money to a friend or a family member and were never paid back or allow them to temporarily live onto your roof which they self willingly turn into a prominent free rent situation? Well, Deborah Hutchinson and Judge Lynn Toler have finally; finally written a book "Put It in Writing" no fun intended that’s actually the name of their book. It’s all to help address some of the most important and emotional life issues that can actually damage a relationship. Welcome to the show ladies. Deborah Hutchinson: We’re glad we’re here. Judge Lynn: Thank you so much. Audra Lowe: Oh, that got me there; lend money to somebody and they never give it back? Deborah Hutchinson: Oh, that’s annoying. Judge Lynn: And that it ruins more relationship and you care to remember family of friends. Audra Lowe: Right. Judge Lynn: What ‘Put It in Writing’ requires you do is number one, talk about the issues when I need it back, why I need it back, all that kind of stuff. Audra Lowe: Upfront? Judge Lynn: Upfront and have it written down so memories don’t fade when that loan becomes a gift, when that person no longer has a job. Audra Lowe: Right. Judge Lynn: And it keeps everybody from being confused and it saves the relationship because there’s no longer that huge elephant of unpaid money sitting in the room. Audra Lowe: So there are a lot of different agreements in this book. I mean, it’s pretty big. It covers a lot of different basis here but is it designed as legal advice? Judge Lynn: Absolutely not, it’s designed as an opportunity to bring up all the issues that you need to consider, requires you to have the conversation and allows you to remember it. Teen driving—I’ve got a 17 year-old. He and I sat down and said he got to have a 3.2 in order to keep the keys. You have to call me when you get where you’re going and what the insurances and we can’t go to court over but he knows what the rules are so he can skip driving and I can keep a small, slither; a sanity. Audra Lowe: Sanity and— Deborah Hutchinson: And even lend the personal property. A friend of mind lent me a painting. It’s a fairly expensive painting. Now should something happen to me, my family is not going to know. They’re not going to say, “Hey, that’s a blue dog bit—” and she is going to get some money for that. And what I did is we set up a lent personal property agreement. Everyone knows that this painting was lent to me and if something should happen my family is going to return it to the woman who lent to me. Audra Lowe: And you would know. Yeah because you covered so much in this book parent, teen-driving, caring for your aging parents, roommates, pad sharing and adults moving back home to. There are a lot of sites online right now like legal zoom that have contracts up. What makes it so different from what you have? Judge Lynn: What makes us different is we cherished the emotional relationship and we put agreements like, how kids are going to care for their aging parents that deals with the emotional issue. It’s not something that you’re going to want to take to court but it’s something you need to clarify and that’s what we’re trying to do. Audra Lowe: Whatever happens it’s just a little handshake between friends. What happened to that? Does this went out the window? Judge Lynn: It never did work. Shakespeare said, “Never a borrower nor lender be.” They will shake in hands and they still weren’t getting along at Thanksgiving dinner. Audra Lowe: Right. Deborah Hutchinson: And it’s better just to have it in writing so that you remember what exactly it is that you said. Audra Lowe: Yeah, so now what happens if somebody doesn’t stick to the agreement that you’ve guys have put for? Deborah Hutchinson: Well, in all of these agreements we have if the promise is broken, so if the parent team, the parent already has different situations and consequences set up in the lend money, you could actually take this to court and say, this is what the

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