Sex Therapist, Marriage Counselor and author Dr. Marty Klein explains if having difficulty with monogamy is a real problem.
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www.EmpowHer.com EmpowHer asks: Is difficulty with monogamy a sexual dysfunction? Now monogamy is an interesting question. You know, human beings have been around for about a hundred thousand years and monogamy is a pretty new idea, just a few thousand years old. You know, from an evolutionary point of view it’s sort of the wink of an eye. And yet today in western cultures, monogamy is considered sort of the gold standard of sexual relationships. And unfortunately there are many therapists who actually believe that people who aren’t interested in monogamy or people who have difficulty with it, there’s something wrong with them. They have fear of intimacy or they’re hostile toward men or hostile toward women or they haven’t grown up enough yet, or something like that. You know monogamy is still in the big historical picture. Monogamy is still an experiment. So far the experiments not going very well, lots and lots and lots and lots people are not getting this monogamy thing to work. Either they’re having affairs or they’re not having very much sex and so on. So, is monogamy -- is difficulty with monogamy a problem? Well I would have to talk to the individual or the couple to find out. I think that some people have difficulty with monogamy, they have a problem and other people, I think they’re healthy and they just don’t find monogamy exciting or engaging or entertaining or where that it fills their psychological needs. I think we have to very careful about assuming that there is one kind of sexual relationship that works for everybody. We really have not found such a form that works for everybody and assuming that monogamy is going to be it, the data just doesn’t support that idea.