Dr. Carolyn Coker Ross shares her grief management advice for struggling mothers.
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Question: What advice do you have for a mother who is struggling with grief management? Dr. Carolyn Ross: My journey through grieving the loss of my son was very individual and yet very generalizable. What I learned from it is that first of all, I think I heard someone recently on the TV say that, oh, it was Elizabeth Edwards, she was talking about the loss of her son and she said that when you lose a child, your own personal feelings about death change. I think for me, I started to take Noah's death as part of my healing journey. What that means is that I looked for whatever meaning I can find in it. Going back to Viktor Frankl's book, Man's Search for Meaning, the more meaning you can find in any difficult situation, the more likely you are to survive it on the upside. So I look for meaning and one of the meanings for me was this change in my career. I think the other thing that I learned was to compare myself to other women. I felt like I was part of this large body of women, of mother's who had lost children, women in Africa who lost babies and women who had soldiers in Iraq and other women like myself whose children suffered from. So I began to feel like that I was part of this larger group, which gave me a lot of strength. Other than that, I did a lot of crying and I talked to a lot of therapists and I just kept putting one foot in front of the other until I got through it. But that's the most that I can say about it.
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