Part 2 of our video series with Esther Perel, couples therapist and author of "Mating in Captivity," which helps couples reconcile the domestic and the erotic.
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Hello! I’m Esther Perel. I am a couples and family therapist in New York City, the author of Mating in Captivity and Lacking Erotic Intelligence. People say, you know, sex with kids, you must be kidding. I wanted to find a different understanding for why children so often deliver such a fate in erotic blow and this is cross coaching internationally. When people are becoming parents, it seems that they suppress directless, excessive, unproductive, irresponsible, playful side of them in order to become that stable and secure base so that the child can be the adventure. And at times they find it hard to retrieve that part. When you look at the parent with their young infant and you see the way they hold this child and that adoring gaze, there is something that is erotically charged in the sense of aliveness, not in the sense of sex, in the sense of sensual, of playful. When people at the end of the day say, I have nothing left to give and I just want to be left alone. Sometimes it’s also simply says, because I have nothing more I need because I am satiated. The kids are getting languorous hugs and the adults have to survive on the diet of quick pecks. And so I'm thinking the erotic is alive and well, it’s just -- be directed that at some point. The erotic energy has to be brought back into the relationship and on the long list of what children need in this overly child centered society that we live in, parents who have a healthy sex life should feature as one these items. It’s not just even for the parents. It’s for the survival of the family as well.