Far too often when you leave an abusive relationship, you go from the frying pan to the fire and don't understand what's going on until the damage is done. Learn to navigate the system before it's too late.
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Malia: Good morning. This is Malia Lynquist and this is KGNU’s weekly show live at Penny Lane. In her book, all but my soul, abused beyond control, psychologist Jimmy King tells a tragic story. So, one of the major things is not just the violence, which is something that we hear about but how that can be perpetuated after the fact, after through the courts. So the Court how the victim may -- after the victim may try to get help. Female: Right, It shows how a perpetrator can utilize the system to continue to batter the victim through the course. Malia: And how can that be done? Female: It is done all the time. In fact, oftentimes it is called “Stalking through the courts”, and what happens is that perpetrator can align with the finances or the politics of the case and then so doing can just continue the litigation on and on and on indefinitely. Malia: This has got to be an anomaly. This is not something that could happen where an abuser is able to use the court system to eventually get children who is also abused away from the mother and into his custody. Is it an anomaly? Female: It is not of an anomaly. It is unfortunately, its an epidemic in our country but we do not hear about it. And the reason that we do not hear about it is because when it happens, the victim is usually either apologize and parked into some kind of psychiatric settings. So, they are just credited or they are back into a fraudulent criminal charge which also just credits them, or they go underground and you never hear from them again. So, very rarely do you hear someone come forward and tell this story, but it is were fed, coast to coast. Malia: What would you have to say for somebody who is in an abusive relationship? Who may be with an abuser who has the financial means and disposition to further the abuse. Reading that book, I would think, “Oh my gosh, there is no way out!” What is the best that you can do. Female: Well, that is a very scary thing. you always, it actually is harder for -- the more the money, the harder it is on the victim. There is no question about that. You know, people think well if there are a lot of resources then it is easier for women of greater means but it actually works just the opposite and a lot of the research shows that. So, what do I suggest the fact, I have committed the balance of my professional career to this work. To helping people wake up before it is too late. To helping people navigate the system before they are compromised to the end to the health, and there is much that one can do. The more you do up front, the better you posture yourself, there is no question about that.

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